Our expert says:
I agree with J, stop this pattern promptly. When you have made other plans --- keep them. Tell him you have made them and are going out, and ask him to please leave so you can lock up properly. He sounds like the sort of guy who never appreciates what he has, until he doesn't have it --- and when he gets it, he doesn't know what to do with it. That promise to his late father isn't binding, and was never binding on you. Like soul, I think it sounds as if you're still making excuses for his lousy behaviour, though whether out of fondness for him ( I haven't yet heard what's worth being fond of ) or out of fondness for his dad, isn't clear.
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