Our expert says:
Sounds like your daighter has some reasons for feeling shame, as she could have dealt with these various problems better, and is primarily responsible for her own behaviour. While you can try to be helpful and support her efforts to behave better, you can't be responsible for her choices and hehaviour.
Similarly, your husband's ehaviopur towards young girls is either deeply unwise ( at the best ) or potentially criminal, but it is HIS behaviour, and not yours. You should tell him that when he does that, it upsets you and that it seems creepy to you and others.
It's hard enouh for us to take responsibility ( as we should ) for our OWN choices and behaviours, without taking responsibility for those of others - it is no good for you, and helps them to evade responsibility for themselves. It sounds as though he is excessively sorry for himself and too reluctant to take responsibility for his own decisions, and also excessively attention-seeking, and should be seeing a counsellor.
Never forget what he does is HIS fault, and not yours
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