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Question
Posted by: Bon | 2007/08/06

rebuild trust

How do you rebuild trust after finding out that your husband had an affair. I still believe in my marraige but this lack of trust is killing me cos i don't believe a word he says to me. He is trying very hard to make it up to me but i am so negative towards everything he does but all this started last year when i couldn't take it of his accusations, he is being like that since i met him, i was not allowed to talk to have a conversation with any guy not even his friend so protective that it ended up driving me crazy. Last draw was when he called me bitch infront of friends then i made it clear with him that i can't live my life with all the accusation so we better go separate way. He will beat me in front of guys and tear my clothes in such a way that i will be left with a bra, then it happened that there was this guy who helped me and offered me his jacket then we started being friends, we started going out then i eventually have a taste of how it is like to be treated like alady with respect after 10yrs in marraige of hell especially when we go outing. i moved out but mu hubby's world felt apart, hecouldn't cope without me oh what a shame... i moved back cos i was not sure if things will work out between me and the new guy so i thought let me forgive my hubby but that wasn't good enough to him it was i had an affair then he started having affairs to revenge me but at the same time saying he understand that whatever happened he is the reason for it so he is sorry and actually confess his selfishness over the past years but again i was reminded of what i did almost every weekend when he is drunk so i suggested counselling oops is something that he doesn't believe in then life continued with misery till i found out about his girlfriend, as he was still accusing me of not putting any effort to our marraige while busy with his mistress till lately he brought present to our house from her then i eventually got vey disturbed then i managed to phone her she told me my hubby promised to marry her,she just need to give him time, he will pick up fights with to make an excuse to be out of the house but the truth came out he said he never meant to hurt me but it's because of what i did, of which i understand but how do i go in rebuilding trust with again.

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Our expert says:
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It may not be possible, but your best chance of rebuilding trust would be within marriage counselling, working together.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: same kind of sit | 2007/08/06

hi there how you doing i am the guy however can help let me know just wana know if you had sex before you met him with ne1 else my position

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