Posted by: Pauline | 2004/02/02

Re:Boyfriend Trouble

Gees you don't even know me and yet your saying how selfish i am whenits not like that. ithink i was right and him wrong i don't believe in always being right and like i said why should i feel sorry for him when he was sick, like i said had bad past experience, but you don't know me so you wouldn't know where i'm coming from]

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Our expert says:
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J -- bless you, for you fully understand the essential and unavoidable way in which such forums operate. People who are only prepared to tolerate everyone agreeing with them on every detail, and who expect anyone who advises them to avoid any trace of criticism, ought to look in the mirror and talk to themselves. It is an essential part of any good advice, let alone counselling, that the adviser is prepared to be critical and suggest, for the person to consider and digest, fairly obvious and significant views of their behaviour and decisions which, though they may be unpalatable, may be both true and important. An adviser, let alone a counsellor, who limits themselves to saying what you already know, and censoring their reactions so they only say what wyou will like, is totally useless to you.
In a forum like this, necessarily, people have only what you have said in your message, and the way in which you said it, to go on. And Pauline, everying you have added, only fits my initial impression. I wonder whether you truly know "where you're coming from "

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Our users say:
Posted by: J | 2004/02/02

Dear Pauline....

You post on an open forum where people judge from what you have written. Dont get all pissy because people read into it what they will. If you cant take it .... dont post.

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