advertisement
Question
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/03

Reality Check cont.

Thank you for all the advice...

There are no support groups in my area... joining a support group would also mean disclosing my status... I don't want to do that until I have spoken to my kids... and I don't think that they are ready to hear what I have to tell them. Also, if there were a support group in my community... I wouldn't join... too much gossip (indians)... I don't trust and the story would certainly leak. Should I meet someone like me, he would have to be the kind of person who looks after himself the way that I do.
Once again, I am not looking for a partner... but I would like to think that should the opportunity present itself, then I can venture into a relationship like a normal person. I currently have men who are showing interest, but I am too scared. I am not ready and I don't see anyone that can offer me the things that I need.

Shaun
Thank you for being honest (from a man's point of view) and for the encouragement.

Having the germ is like a catch 22... you can't win with do's and don't's...

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe a support group in a different but reachable area ?
And yes, maybe you discovered catch 23.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

12
Our users say:
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/11/03

How do you mix it yourself - I always get the amount of chilli powder in relation to curry powder wrong - it was always very convenient to just go and buy someone else's mix at the market in Durbs - here in CTN I am stuck. Imagine a mix of Rajah hot with some tumeric in it --- aaaaaggggghhhh - the best I can do is to camouflage it with Packo's curry paste.

Thanks again for the recipes - I had the biscuit one and Jamie Oliver one, but not the other two. Gonna try something out tonight - can just hear the dear old hubby saying - "here she goes again - better take some rennies before hand"

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/03

So did you get them yet? Still think they're jokes???

Mother-in-law masala is nothing. You don't know a good mix until you do it yourself... Ain't that right Inc.?

You should try a prawn & chicken curry one day... ask Mona.

Pleasure Lucia, hope you enjoy them,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/11/03

Hello again

Hey, hoe ken jy my ? Let me tell you, here is one girl that can cook almost any curry you can think of. If the recipe book that you are talking bragging abouts' name is Indian Delights, then guess what - I have it. My fav dishes are the crab curry, doll (for the biryani) and almond sweetmeats).

If it's not Indian Delights, then please send on to me (the other as well).

I will send you tasters if you can send me some "mother-in-law" masala - I can't find any proper masala here in CTN - the people down here think the only curry powder that exists is that stuff that comes out of a Rajah box - ag please. Proper chilli powder is almost non existant - I won't event talk about fresh curry leaves (people look at you with a blank expression if you ask for that) and dhania - nobody has ever heard of the word here.

My addie is luciat at nosa dot coza

Thank you dearie

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/03

Hey Lucia,

No they're really recipe books, no jokes. Maybe the joke might be on you coz one is only of chillipip-dishes....

If you know the girls above ask them to share it with you, otherwise, let me have your e-mail addie.

The only deal is that you send me some of every dish you try!!!

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/11/03

To Shaun - hello my dear little chillipip - what are these recipe books you are sending out ? Are they real recipe books or are you sending out dirty jokes again ?

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/03

Yes... please send it.
Thank you.

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/03

Yeah, actually I can...hehehehe.

Oh, I think I may have another recipe book. Would you like to have a copy via our Sexy Heksie???

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/03

I didn't do the screaming bit... my poor neighbours... they already think I'm crazy... can you imagine?

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/03

Inc., remember, often, all we have to go on is just the hope.
Ja, I guess you will have a lot to put up with, & I guess it tends to teach you a lot about who you are & about others too.

As you said, you can only change your own, so I think thats a very good start. I am sure you already know that the only person responsible for your happiness is you. You don't have to accept what you are not happy with. Yes, I know it's easier said than done, so just hang in there ok.

Btw, how did the screaming on the roof episode go?

Regards,
'Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/03

Thanks again Shaun... I hope that your gf's results come back negative. This germ robs so many facets of one's life. I am so fortunate and blessed that my children are all healthy.
When people look at me... they never suspect that this is what I have... and, as you know... I recently told someone that I was seeing. Since then, I have been getting mixed signals from him... when we are together, we are so happy and enjoy our time, but when we are not together, I don't hear from him and he ignores my messages... it's as if telling him has made him see me as 'different'. So, now I've had to accept this 'see-you-when-I-see-you' relationship. But, I can't change perceptions... I can only change my own.

Anyways... life goes on... the kids are happy and driving me insane.... so I should be thankful for what I have.

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/03

Oh yes, I forgot to add...

Being Indian myself, I am very much aware of the gossips, rumours & even the stigma that can be attached to you, so you are very wise in being cautious. I am sure you will know when best to open up to your kids.

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/03

Hey Inc.,

Yes I know what you mean. I have thought of the other side, & when I do, there are a lot of regrets as to the things we want to do together & may possibly never be able to do those things again. In a way it's like a lot of your dreams are being crushed without even taking your feelings into consideration.
But ja, my resolve is that I want her more than that. I want to always be a part of her life, & yes, we will still have issues come up, but I am determined that we will work through it.\

Hey, there is always the possibility, seeing as we're not engaged or married, that she may very well meet someone else, & in that case, my resolve is to be happy for her, as long as she is sure thats what she wants, even though I'll be heart-broken.

As it is, thats not even an option at present & that makes me happy. Maybe selfish of me, but hey, sometimes we should be selfish.

Take care Inc. & you just keep the faith. I am learning that you are basically a wonderful person. That is something you should not have any doubts of!!!

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement