Posted by: big gal | 2004/11/04


Hi CS,
What happened to the saying that inner beauty is what matters?
I'm a great person recently caring a few extra kilos and I've noticed the change in people's attitudes towards me. Guys dont give a second look anymore and my family & friends are always on my case about the 12kg weight gain (from 64kgs a year ago, I'm 1.7m).
Now I'm advised to see a shrink because my weight gain, caused by bad eating habits, is a "psychological" problem, as if thin people have problems!!!.
I gained after working long hours and studying part-time, I live alone and dont have time to cook so I live on take-aways - I enjoy them and always have. I'm also not excersising as I used to before etc etc Otherwise I'm happy!

What bothers me is that while I will make the effort to be attractive again (for me), it's just not a priority at this moment, yet society treats me like I committed a murder! I've even been accused of depression. If anything will depress me is the unfair social pressures will make me loose weight quickly rather than a gradual inner choice. I'm now becoming more consience of my weight. Why are we judged on physical attributes - until one gets to know the person? Are there any big ladies who feel the same way?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello bg,
Don't let other people make you feel guilty or drive you into therapy. If they have the headache, let them take the aspirin ! Have your own priorities, not theirs. And don't amplify the extent of this problem -- so some weight-fascists are breathing heavily --- let them, it'll be good exercise for them. Lose weight, if you need to ( check with dietdoc, perhaps ) at your own time and as it suits you. Would you die your hair, or cut it off, if "they" thought they'd prefer you to look that way ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: JM | 2004/11/04

Hi BG,

I definitely share your feelings. a Few years ago I was a few kg's overweight, but not fat, rather inbetween fat and thin.

I had nice guys that was interested, but when I lost those few kilo's, every gorgeous guy you could think of was looking at me.

But that time I was still in my early twenties. These days if a guy doesn't like you for what you are, then he must go and look somewhere else. Inner beauty will make you shine, and if they are too stupid to realise it, their loss.

Rather try and change your eating habits, try to eat three times a day, exercise and keep in mind that our bodies actually do change after 25 and all what we can do about it, is to look after it. (Remember fast food is definitely a no-no)

When someone makes a snide remark about your weight, tell them at least you have inner beaty and you can loose weight but they will not be able to obtain inner beauty.

Good luck and I hope you feel better.

Reply to JM

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