Our expert says:
You are absolutely not alone; many women are not orgasmic every time. In fact 70% of women reach orgasm on every 2nd or 3rd time sexual encounter with a partner. The reason why you respond more reliably when masturbating is probably that you know exactly what feels good to you at that moment and can change the stimulation to match your wishes instantaneously. If your partner was a mind reader, he might be able to do this too. Ideally communicate clearly with him what feels good, but also don't worry if it doesn't happen. There is a commonly held misbelief that we should all orgasm every time, and as you know, it doesn't always matter if this isn't possible - sex is not always about orgasm, it' may be about pleasure, closeness, meeting a partner's needs... If you are okay with this, then don't worry, you're fine!
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