Posted by: pinkfairy | 2006/04/19

Re: Stressed out

Hi Doc,

I wonder if you could please assist me or at least refer to me to a doctor or something.

I feel i am totally losing it and i could honestly just go and jump off a 30floor building or take a blade and cut my writst to smitherins. I feel like this because my mother is constantly sick and when i mean constantly i mean constantly. She was ill recently and about 2 weeks ago came out of hospital and kicked back to normal health almost immediately. But she still complains she is sick everyday of her life and everyday there is something wrong with her she wants the sympathy. When i get home from work my mother will start moaning or complaining and even during working hours she will phoen and complain.

As far as my father is concerned he is a wimp in plain english. he will sit in his bedroom and look out the window and not say anything or do anything. The only time he will complain is if my mother complains about being sick and then he will phone me and say your mother is sick i must come home immediately. I also possess a job and i need to work.

Cyberdoc it just feels like my whole world is crumbling i feel i could just pack myself a suitcase and just go somewhere quiet and not have to hear this complaining all day long. My relationship with my man is also suffering because whenver we go out its about the parents.

Please any feedback from your side would be appreciated.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

+Well, pinkfairy, for a start, please don't do ANY of those self-damaging things --- they wouldn't help at all, and would only make things worse. And there's something even more awful about such ideas --- they would represe4nt you actually acting like your mom --- creating a health crisis to get attention. You're far better remaining like you, and not imitating the worst of the ways she behaves.
OK, your mother could be a real pain in the neck ( and maybe she HAS a pain in the neck, too ?) -- she sounds like a real hypochondriac, enjoying, inflating, and making the most out of any ailments or symptoms. Sounds like your dad is passive, and as though it is only by complaining of illness that your mom gets attention from him --- but if he's worried that she's sick HE should attend to her, rather than calling you and expecting you to drop your job and rush to her side.
Its not clear whether you still live with your parents, or not. If you are staying on your own, your position is much stronger --- you can put in an answering machine, and not respond to silly calls from them, and you can sit down and tell them that you have your own life to lead, your own work to do, and they must look after themselves.
If you still live with them, the same conversation could still be useful, and keep looking for opportunities to get out on your own, maybe sharing with someone else at first

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Our users say:
Posted by: pinkfairy | 2006/04/20

Thanks Cyberdoc for all your advice and i will take that advice and use it wisely.

Secondly thanks to everybody else that posted a note.

Reply to pinkfairy
Posted by: dinky | 2006/04/19

Seems like ur mom is a hypochondriac. She needs a psychiatrist more than a GP. Try and get her a good shrink and start living ur own life.U deserve it. BEST OF LUCK.

Reply to dinky
Posted by: Kitty | 2006/04/19


yes you should be there for your perants but your not their caretaker. if they want to behave like "bejaardes" put them in a old age home. You have a life of your own just as they had. they just have to realize that they should let you life your life.
As for your bf, you guyd should do stuff on your own and forget about the parents for a while. enjoy your young life soon you dont have it any more.

Reply to Kitty

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