Our expert says:
Its not about the very specific thing he does, is it ? What matters is what it represents, as there are so many ways of showing disrespect - what he needs to stop is showing disrespect and lack o care for yourr feelings in ANY way, not just to stop one way and find another.
And again, its not about your recovering your good feelings after each episode, but why should you need to ?
HOW do you "picture yourselves together" ? As an old couple, ater 40 years of marriage, and he is still putting you down and making you feel crappy ?
The poin of therapy / counselling is to get beyond his automatic excuses and the surface arguments, to the real issues, and see if those can be solved. You see things, understandably, as you see and experience them - if the two of you are truly so different, that he can't even understand how you see it, then there's really not much of a good relationship there. And if he doesn't care, then what relationship is there ?
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