Posted by: Angel Eyes | 2009/01/21

Re: Scared to meet Guys

Hi all. I need some help. I am a professional 28 year old just a bit on the chubby side but not seriously obese. I have a life of my own and like good things in life. My only problem is that i have been suffering from or with depression from the age of 24 and i have been taking tablets for it but i am at my worst now. I have recently kinda lost it and i have emblazoned my body with 30 cuts, yes it is crazy i know but depression is crazy. Anyway i thought that it might help if i kinda find a guy or something. Well i have been successful in finding them and talking and smsing them but to actually meet them is the problem. Some are so sweet and kind and i just push them away literally. A couple of hours before we meet i just get cold feet look for an argument and tell them i don' t want to go out anymore. I just can' t seem to do it. Because i know if anybody get a look at my arms they are going to freak and the questions are going to start and then i also feel that some people don' t like chubby people and yes i have tried to do something about it but i have a thyroid problem. Is there no guys out there that can just understand a woman or is it really me.

Please any advice would be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Finding a guy may be, in the future, a useful step on the path to recovery, but is not a good treatment for acute depression. Work on the depression, and Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT ) would be a valuable addition to any meication you're using. It could also valuable boost your self-esteem --- other people are unlikely to like you if you don't like and appreciate yourself.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Disenchanted | 2009/01/21

Thanks for your nice reply on my posting, it gives me hope. Listen to Doc and Jason, give it your all, but don' t just give your love away to the first person that shows some interest. You actually sound like an amazing level headed person who just has to overcome some insecurities which are causing frustration, and then you take it out on yourself. You said you were here if I needed you, but that reminds me of that old movie hear no evil see no evil with the blind leading the deaf. haha (hope that one brightens up your day a bit)

Reply to Disenchanted
Posted by: Jason | 2009/01/21


Love is definitely out there - you' re only pushing it away all the time because you think you don' t deserve it.

Anybody who says that a person who goes to see a shrink is loopy, is incredibly stupid. You' ll come away alot stronger and happier if you do. Anyway, your 28 and can do things on your own. Your parents don' t need to know whether you' re seeing a shrink.

I think your cutting problem probably has to do with being frustrated with yourself?

Do yourself a favour: The next time a guy asks you out, GO!

You can always leave halfway through, but you' ll never know if you don' t go.

And when you wake up in the morning, go and stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye and say: " I AM worth it and people DO like me." 

Good luck!


Reply to Jason
Posted by: Angel Eyes | 2009/01/21

Hi J,

Thanks for a lovely reply. No i am not seeing a shrink as my parents have this perception that if you go to a shrink you are absolutely off your rocker so no i would not go.

I don' t know when i have to meet somebody then i get all bothered and have a panic attack and its as if i am changing and i become this horrible person and i sms horrible things and just tell them not to bother with me and things like that. There is nothing wrong with me its just that i don' t want to be rejected or neglected.

All i am looking for is tender loving care but it seems as if it not out there anymore.

Thanks anyway have a great day.

Reply to Angel Eyes
Posted by: Jason | 2009/01/21

Hey Angel Eyes,

If you have been on tablets, then presumably you' re seeing a shrink too? If not, I would advise you to get in touch with one and get them to help you sort out self confidence issues.

What' s stopping you from finding a great guy and why do you think they won' t like you?

Push yourself to just try it once and you' ll soon see that it' s not difficult and that there' s nothing to be scared of.

Good luck!


Reply to Jason

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