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Question
Posted by: Josh's mom | 2008/01/24

RE: Relocating

Thanks for the reply CS..

My bf has good enough reason to want to go as he is being forced to work under new management (and this woman is awful)... he thinks he may end up being fired as she is trying to push him out of his current position. He is able to apply for the relocation to CT - therefore securing his current position...
but a part of my feels like he is running away....

and honestly im not so sure how stable our relationship is... we have been fighting quite a lot lately (although we have discussed relationship councelling). We havent been dating all that long..

sigh...i know no one can make this decision for me...but i wish you could... :-)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, understandable reasons ( though he should also consult a labour lawyer / CCMA / Dept of Labour about the offense of Constructive Dismissal when an employer tries to push someone out of their job ). Its unfortunate that there has been more fighting recently, but of course much of that could be due to the stress you are both under at present.
And remember, when a good shrink declines an invitation to make life decisions for you ( quacks are eager to make your decisions ) its both because they aren't actually able to do so with any more wisdom than you are, and because it wouldnt help --- it really does need to be your decision. As John says, I think you want to stay, and would welcome someone telling you to do so --- your motivation to go is out of affection for your bf and not wanting to be someone who might be seen as abandining him. But it looks as though you have not really known each other for long enough to be sure whether this translocationwould work out, or whether it would actually, in the end, benefit either of you

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Our users say:
Posted by: John | 2008/01/24

In addition to what the CS has already said, it seems to me that you have more reason to stay than to go. And, be honest now, you don't really, really want to go, do you? You do not appear to be starry or misty eyed about adventuring off with your love, to conquer a new world, to establish a new life...actually you seem to be looking for a reason to be rid of someone that you recently started dating, that you think is coward and that you are not getting along with right now.

'Nuff said.

Reply to John

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