Our expert says:
Its never easy to change one's spots, and it grows more difficult as we grow older and have spent longer learning those spots. It'd be wisest for him to use the expert help of a counsellor to help him do that, just as it would be more likel to be successful for the pair of you to see a couples counsellor, than to try to wing it on your own.
Sounds like in your own discussions, he tries to push the emphasis onto what you should do about your problems, removing the emphasis on what HE needs to do.
Dealing with his alcohol problem also needs expert input, whether from a shrink that deals with such problems, or AA.
Alcoholims is an expensive hobby, but one must wodner why an adult in employment,should want and need such an enormous loan - where does all his money go ? Are their drugs, or gambling involved, as well as alcohol ?
Its a fine thing to start a new business, but one needs to start small, and financially cautious, not to spend everything you have or can borrow, and then need more, before anything is earning anything.
Too many people who could be successful working for someone else, in a company, waste very large sums of money on starting doomed businesses, because they just don't have the necessary skills. Its really not everyone who can pull off such startups.
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