Our expert says:
I don't see what you are so disappointed about - re-read your own original message - it is VERY ambiguously phrased, and dopes indeed start by saying something about your sister, and then proceeds to speak as though you are talking about yourself. I was asking for clarity about this ambiguity, but I think my advice still makes sense. Obviously there are limits if the problem reside entirely within your sister's life - technically, if there is good reason to believe that she might be a real danger to herself and/or to others, there are mechanisms by which, with the aid of a doctor ( has she seen a shrink or GP ? ) assessment and maybe even treatment, could be supplied compulsorily, though obviously such methods are only used in extreme situations.
Otherwise one is left, as always in life, with the alternative of just continuing, in whatever ways are available, to seek to persuade the person to be sensible and seek help for themselves.
Obviously, from these further comments of yours, you have tried long and hard to persuade her to do so, with maybe more emphasis than necessary on providing solutions yourself, when she may need proper treatment of Depression ( or whatever other underlying conditionm may be operating here ) before she is able to follow even really good advice. Also, a shrink would, apart from dealing with the primary underlying disorder, try to help her identify the solutions for herself, because a person will often try hard to prove that a solution THEY worked out, will work, but will not try to make the same solution work, if they see it as your idea and not theirs.
Sounds like she is making excuses for not getting the help she so obviously needs - surely she could get time off work to see a doctor, and for any needed treatment.
I deliberately did not give you specific "pointers" or prefabricated suggestions as to what to say to your sister, because there are no such suggestions that would work, and this is not the way to help her.
All one can do is to find ways to persuade her to see a shrink for assessment and treatment. If she had a serious stomach ache that seemed very like appendicitis, one wouldn't look for clever things to say to her, but would simply concentrate on trying to get her to see a surgeon - the same applies here.
Ultimately she is responsible for her own fate, and if she refuses to seek help when she so obviously nweeds it, she will meet the consequences of doing so.
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