Our expert says:
I would encourage you to tell him exactly how you are feeling, i.e. that you aren't able to focus on your pleasure because you're worrying about him getting bored. It is normal for a woman to take around 15 minutes to reach orgasm, so if it's around this length of time, you fall within the average. Even if you don't, it's just how your body works and it's okay for you to feel free to enjoy pleasure too. Perhaps you could assist him from time to time. I think that you 'sorting yourself out' because of fears of his complains is likely to be bad news for the intimacy in the relationship. I think that secrets create distance and once discovered, trust is really difficult to win back. I would encourage you to discuss with him how his response makes you feel and how it is likely to result in distance between you. Perhaps you can also help him to think through how to manage this issue.
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