Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Donkey, good to hear from you again.
Following the previous sexual interaction between you guys your boss has trampled over even more boundaries, including his inappropriately confiding very personal information and setting you up to console him. You express this yourself when you say you wanted to be there for him as a "friend". You're not his friend. But by the same token you're not simply an employee either. He obviously doesn't know how to define your relationship either and after over-exposing himself to you (both literally and figuratively) he's trying to assert his role of 'boss'. Probably because he feels totally vulnerable.
You were being a good guy. The person responsible for managing the boundaries in this scenario was him, not you. He messed up. He chose to divulge deeply personal information to you, he chose to go home with you, he chose to have sex with you and he chose to stay the night. You're no idiot and you most certainly aren't a slut. Wipe that thought away.
I think you need to see where this goes but some time soon you guys will need to talk. Away from the office but in a public space. And you need to somehow clarify your relationship, in the light of what has transpired. At the moment it feels like a bowl of spaghetti. If you're going to attempt to restructure the boss/employee relationship you'll need to somehow agree to what that means for each of you and what you'll do with what happened. Shake hands on it and then make very sure that the parameters of the relationship are respected. I don't see you guys being 'friends' after what has happened and it would seriously complicate your life if you became lovers.
Acknowledge that he may need to speak to someone about what is going on in his life but that this person can't be you.
As I suggested previously, if you feel that your job is being compromised in any way, or if he takes advantage of you in any way, you may want to speak to a labour lawyer.
Please post again and tell us how this unfolds....
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