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Question
Posted by: CMP | 2007/12/07

RE: POst 1491

HI CS

I have no idea what motivates 15 year old. He does however have an expectancy like attitude, like he does not have to work for anything, I am not sure if this is because we have given him (and his mother) whatever they have needed during his life without asking questions that he is now reaching a level of expectancy, he doesn't study orpput in any extra work unless he is forced to, and I am concerned because lately I am coming across as a dragon lady.

WRT 8 year old, he is a fair bit smaller than a lot of the other kids at school, he is also quite reserved at times, but a very clever little boy, he picks up on everything end his reading level for his age is excellent, but his work has started suffering this year and I have no idea what to do about it. WRT other kids being bullied, there is the odd occassion where I hear about it, but I never get told who the other kids are.

The biggest problem is that I am a working mom and unfortunately still earn more than my husband. We also have an 18 month old daughter who takes up a fair amount of our time in the morning and evening so we try to spend equal time with both kids seperately and together but this doesn't always work.

I hope the additional info helps.

Thanks for your input

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Our expert says:
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It can indeed cause problems when youngsters are given too much, too easily, without learning of any actual need to earn money and favours. The expectancy effect can be really troublesome. I can understand how you wish, laudably, to help this other boy, but he isn't your son --- why do you feel you need to mother him, rather than his own mother ?

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