Our expert says:
It does sound as if this guy really canot manage finances, so he's highly unlikely to ever succeed at running his own business. It's so important for us to be able to recognize our limitations and plan round them --- he might be fine working in someone else's company in which he did not handle finances ( and if he had someone reliable to help to run his private finances, so he'd stop buying what he can't afford. Not learning from one's mistakes, and repeatedly making the same mistakes, is a sign of a real lack of wisdom.
I don't see how it would be wise, for you, him, or the baby, to marry him, before he finishes growing up, and that could take years. However often you pay off his debts and loans, he only goes out and creates new debts and borrows more money. It might be a good thing for him to be blacklisted and lose all credit. Then he will have to work harder, and SAVE money, and only buy what he can already afford.
If in the situation you describe, he really deludes himself into thinking that he doesn';t have a problem, then he has a really large and serious problem, and one which it is impossible for anyone to help him with, until he recognizes his problems and that he needs help.
Of course it's sad when you see someone yo0u care about continuing to act so foolishly and self-destructively, but he has to solve all that on his own, you can't do it for him.
Take it calmly with the new guy, but he sounds far more like the sort of many you deserve, doesn't he ?
have a great Christmas, anyway !
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