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Question
Posted by: daisy | 2007/12/19

RE: Losing it

ok -so he left me....He packed his stuff yesterday while i was at work. He was still there when i got home and i begged him not to go... he said he needed to spend some time on his own the he was going to go spend the night at his ex wife because he had no where else to go. He ended up phoning me at about 10 and asked if he can come over. He spent the night but left before i woke up this morning. He then emailled me and said he is confused and basically saying its over... So i saw him outside just now (we work together) and told him that the least he can do is have the balls to say it to my face... Yesterday before he came home again he said that we would talk about it lunch time today...so when i confornted him he said we are still going to talk today??
Why does he need to string me along like this?? if he wants to leave then he just should... needless to say i have begged him to stay - but i cant keep begging him if he doesnt even know what he wants.
I made an app with famsa for tomorrow but how do i get through today... what must i do???
i dont want to lose him but i am torn up inside... why cant he just give me a staraight answer...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear of this sad situation, daisy. maybe he isn't intending to string you along, but i genuinely uncertain and conflicted and ambivalent ? Isn't this one of the situations to which the wise old saying applies, which says something like : If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're meant to be with you, and if they don't, they wouldn't have remained with you, anyway ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lisa | 2007/12/19

Why the hell does he feel that his ex wife's place is the only "safe" place that he can go to ... ? There is something else going on here. Are you sure that he is not doubting his divorce? Do they have kids that he could feel guilty about?

He does not know what he want, he is messing you around and you deserve better, Move on with your love and find someone who KNOWS that he loves you and treats you that way.

Reply to Lisa
Posted by: Hope* | 2007/12/19

What a horrible time for you at this time of year!! I dont think he knows what he wants. You are on the right track by thinking that you cannot continue begging him, why should you. He knows you want to work at the situation, but he is totally indecisive from the sounds of it. Let him make up his own mind, the longer it takes him, the stronger you will probably get. Contacting FAMSA is brilliant.

Reply to Hope*
Posted by: SUe | 2007/12/19

I dont agree with any of them! except dont beg

I think by telling him how you feel and exactly what you are going threw he might get an understanding! dont cry and try talk threw the tears but tell him how much pain u are going threw.

I think FAMSA is a good idea. I used lifeline and counselling really works but you both have to be open to it and work with it. its hard but practice makes perfect.

Reply to SUe
Posted by: xxx | 2007/12/19

you made a big mistake by begging him i know you love him but why beg for love,to be miserable at work he enjoys it ,as jelly said keep you head high let him wonder why you are so cool or happy don't give him the satisfaction esp if he is around go home tonight cry it all out tomorrow be a better person if we all new what lies ahead of i guesse we won't fall for jerk like him.good luck.

Reply to xxx
Posted by: Jelly | 2007/12/19

Sorry to hear what you are going through. Maybe when he sees that you are trying to help yourself he will then try again with the relationship. Untill then, dont beg him to stay with you. I think it is degrading towards you, i did the same. If he goes, let him. Time will heal all wounds, im sure you know that too.

Keep your head up high, thats all you can do right now.

Reply to Jelly

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