Posted by: Black Eyed Girl | 2009/07/14

RE: Is it wrong to fall in love with a Black Guy

Hi All,

I wonder if you could all please help. I am 29 years of age Greek white female. I have had 2 relationships in the past and they have been with Indian Guys. My parents did not like this at all because it was crossing the race barriers and therefore this put alot of pressure on me and therefore twice having to end my relationships because of my parents. We were not allowed in the house or in the neighbourhood because my parents are afraid of what the people may say. I was never allowed to bring my boyfriend home for a cup of coffee or anything it was off limits. However i have also not had a good relationship with my father and am looking for that father figure. I was scorned by the family and sworn at and all. Now however i have met a lovely man who loves me for me and not for anything else. He has his own home and is a businessman of note and pays me so much attention. But now the pressure is on. I have not told my parents anything about this guy because i know they will jinx it but best of all here it comes this guy is BLACK but schooled in the UK and has an amazing accent. I am meeting him for the first time on Saturday but the pressure is on and i am really worried as i already like him but i am worried that i will have so much stress and strain on Saturday that i am going to mess it all up and i don' t want that too happen. Is it so wrong to love somebody else..

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you are 29, why do you allow your parents to decide about your personal relationships ? Apparently you still live at home, which enables them to control what you can do there. I think we exagerate the extent to which people fall in love at first site, but you can certainly fall in like, and then discover, as you get to know the person, whether they are actually as loveable as they seemed. Could there possibly be an element in your experiences, of actually preferring men of other cultural groups because they're not like your family, maybe even fatherly but not like your fahter --- maybe even because they would bother your family ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mon | 2009/07/24

The only thing thats wrong is why are you even asking? If you love him it should not matter!

Reply to Mon
Posted by: Neyo | 2009/07/15

Samantha how shallow you can be,move outta here to Vernus or Mars

Reply to Neyo
Posted by: Smarts | 2009/07/15

Oh Samantha, please stop with ur Rhino theory...

Reply to Smarts
Posted by: Samantha | 2009/07/15

I just think it' s EEUW. Where will your kids fit it?? Think about how their hair and skin is gonna look. Keep to your own kind. Even in nature you don' t see the White Rhino and the Black Rhino getting involved or having little baby Rhino' s, yet they look SO alike. So NATURE thinks it' s wrong - and so do I.

Reply to Samantha
Posted by: pumpkin patch | 2009/07/15

Its a bit worrying as you appear smitten by the guy yet at the time of writing this it apears that you have not yet met him as you say "  i will be meeting him on Saturday for the first time" 
so far all that seems to infatuated you is what he has toldyou of himself and how he sounds
so please - you seem like a nice girl - take your time on these things before you plunge in headfirst!
all the best- " some day your prince will come" !

Reply to pumpkin patch
Posted by: milkbar | 2009/07/14

hi there
i see you have created a pattern for yourself,get over it it just
might be that u dont like white guys .so have fun deciding what to wear....

Reply to milkbar
Posted by: Gracie | 2009/07/14

Falling in love with someone is something we cannot always prevent from happening! I had a Greek colleague (she was 26 yrs old at the time) who told me that her parents would not even allow her to date an English or Afrikaans speaking man. Her boyfriend had to be Greek. She was fortunate that she eventually met a Greek guy who her parents approved of! Is it not maybe a cultural thing with your family? My father forbade us to date Portuguese guys when we were younger .. we were raised in a very strict Afrikaans/English household and dating boys who were not Afrikaans or English just was not allowed. I hope for your sake that your parents accept your new boyfriend - if they don' t you will unfortuneately have to make a choice! You cannot allow your family to dictate who you can and cannot date! I wish you everything of the best!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: XXX | 2009/07/14

It is not wrong to love someone of a different colour but unfortunately it does bring extra pressures to the relationship ie do you really want your parents to virtually disown you ?
At the end of the day you have to make the decision taking all these factors into account.
Best of luck.

Reply to XXX

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