Posted by: El-Jo | 2004/10/28

Re: For CS

Dear Cybershrink
It is a battle of wills and I'm the looser as always. Years of mental abuse have taken its toll. I'm not allowed to seek help. I'm not allowed to see a psychiatrist or a psychologist. People who have met him are afraid of his temper and avoid him as far as possible. I can't blame them. I'm afraid. If I don't do his bidding I'm in serious trouble. He is in control and I’m his puppet. People from CANSA call me from time to time. I’ve been trying my best to let them visit him, but he still refuses. He is angry and frustrated and takes it out on anyone who comes into contact with him, and I know he will treat the people from CANSA horribly if I let them visit without his approval. I can't leave him. He is my responsibility.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he continues to refuse to accept the help he needs, that's very sad, but he has chosen the path he insists on following. But he is in no state to forbid you to do anything or to prefent you from seeking and getting the help you need and deserve. He is his own responsibility, first and foremost. You were not given a life sentence of hard labour for him. Slavery was abolished some years ago. CANSA and Hospice people are ( or should be ) used to dealing with difficult people who take out their anger on others, especially if fore-warned of how he is. You must treat yourself with the consideration and care you are wasting on him. This is a form of ongouing wife abuse, and maybe you should also discuss it with POWA.

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Our users say:
Posted by: blackbird | 2004/10/28

el-jo, just get the people from CANSA to come round, trust me they have seen it all. he is in the agro phase of people with terminal illness. Just do it for your own survival.

and then my final say, nobody in this whole world is somebody elses resposibility, this excludes children....when you can vote, open a bank account and pay tax, you become but only your own responsibility, the rest is passion and compassion ...

maybe i'm just talking k-a-k again ....but so be it ...

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