Our expert says:
PLEASE, please, get emergency attention for this serious depression - your parents sound awfully ungrateful and lazy, when they could and should do much more to fend for themselves ( did they save properly for their old age, while developing their expensive tastes ? ). Why can't your young mother take the responsibility for helping care for her own mother, and spending time with her ?
Cooking and cleaning up for a greedy family of 18 is ridiculous - dod NONE of the others pull their own weight ?
To leave you feeling awful and cuting yourself ( you know how ultimately unhelpful that is ) is whlly unjustifiable. You talk about letting them "take the money" - is this their money, or yours ? If yours, they don't deserve it.
They need a stern talkling-to reminding them that beggars can't be choosers and their degree of selfishness and ingratitude is unacceptable ; that if they are to live with you and be suppoprted by you, they must abide by your rules and pull their own weight in terms of chores and caring for themselves and their parents and family.
And don't just go into the weekend feeling so desperate - you should be seing a proper shrink for assessment and advice, perhaps through a local casualty dept ; and call Lifeline ( number on this page ) for someone to talk to in the short-term, and for help in finding the additional support you deserve
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