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Question
Posted by: lolly pop | 2004/11/23

RE: daddy's girl

I have a good job and my fiance is doing his computer thing. You do not seem to understand that my father has a fear of me moving on. He tries to hold me back from everything, is this right?
I mean, when i went to study, he told me i am waisting my time, everything I try he puts me down. Yes I must move out, but again i get told i won't survive, what kind of father won't encourage their children? I feel that i am too scared to try anything in case i end up failing and give my father satisfaction. Yes i know that he is a good father and may be he is right, but give me a chance to find out for myself. Why all of a sudden the over protectiveness? When i was growing up i never had it. How would you feel when are told that you cannot go to the shop alone, my mother has to go everywhere with me, isn't this ridiculous! I have made up my mind and I am going to move out, and yes maybe i will battle, but i know i will get through it.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I do understand, that some father's are excessively protective of their kids, especially daughters ( just as, sadly, some fathers are far too little protective of them). A god father won't encourage you to do something that is doomed to fail, yet he shouldn't be too pessimistic and discouraging, where you have a good chance of success.
As San says, is he scared of eing alone when you leave ? There could be other solutions for that problem, if so.
But shouldn't it be a first priority for you and your bf to become finaicially secure and independent, so you can afford your own place in the long term, and can afford a further child and the happy life you all deserve ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: LIZZIE | 2004/11/23

YOU HAVE a good job and a fiance, not a husband. why not wait until you are married.

if your fiance drops u and u meet another man, are u going to make another baby for him as well? just relax, or otherwise you will end up with mixed vegetables---that is babies with different fathers.

there is so much more to life than babies

Reply to LIZZIE
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/23

When you were growing up, it was just you that your dad had to look after, now there is a little 3 year old that also needs looking after, so thats why he is so much more protective. Just a thought.

Reply to Mona
Posted by: San | 2004/11/23

Seems like your father has some emotional hold or dependency over you and doesn't want to let go. He might feel have a fear of being alone or being deserted . The only way of retaining that hold/dependency is by telling you you won't make it in life which is wrong of him. Best thing you can do for yourself and to prove to your father that you can is to get your own place to stay, give it a good go and make a success of your life and the upbringing of you child. One day he will hopefully see the light.

Good luck!

Reply to San
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/23

Hi Lolly Pop,

Have yiu ever concidered that maybe your sympathy for him allows himto do as he plesas? Hust a thouht. I take it you guys havn't bought your house yet, so might it not ne pssobile to locate seomthin with a granny-flat, or out-house? Also, if these are not options could you not convert his room into soemthiong he would n't haav nee to leav.lternatively suggest vations to other frineds or famy. Does not hae to be a ormemerm.
So, they can drive around, & show off with their xlazzy vehicles yet they cannot afors your routine daily studd...

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/23

Hi Lolly Pop,

Have yiu ever concidered that maybe your sympathy for him allows himto do as he plesas? Hust a thouht. I take it you guys havn't bought your house yet, so might it not ne pssobile to locate seomthin with a granny-flat, or out-house? Also, if these are not options could you not convert his room into soemthiong he would n't haav nee to leav.lternatively suggest vations to other frineds or famy. Does not hae to be a ormemerm.
So, they can drive around, & show off with their xlazzy vehicles yet they cannot afors your routine daily studd...

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/23

Hi Lolly Pop,

Have yiu ever concidered that maybe your sympathy for him allows himto do as he plesas? Hust a thouht. I take it you guys havn't bought your house yet, so might it not ne pssobile to locate seomthin with a granny-flat, or out-house? Also, if these are not options could you not convert his room into soemthiong he would n't haav nee to leav.lternatively suggest vations to other frineds or famy. Does not hae to be a ormemerm.
So, they can drive around, & show off with their xlazzy vehicles yet they cannot afors your routine daily studd...

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun

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