Our expert says:
CyberShrink
Dear El-Jo,
I wonder why your husband is so resistant to the idea of a visitor from the NCA. Maybe he's caught up, as some folks do become caught up, in the idea that dealing with the NCA or a Hospice somehow makes "it" really cancer, rather than perhaps something else, as if acknowledging what is really happening somehow actually makes it happen. Would he tolerat anyone else calling in each day to see how he is and maybe supply some care ? Maybe the NCA could arrange to fund or send someone like a home-help who is not officially an NCA person ? A hospice might be able to send a volunteer without official status, but with enough training to know how to be helpful and how NOT to be "helpful" ? As I wrote and taught years ago, cancer also spreads to the family, even the community.
Remember that the strong ARE scared, but they still manage to cope --- it's idiots who are not scared in risky and difficult situations. Have YOU got for yourself, through NCA or hospice, or wherever, the sort of counselling and support you so richly deserve ?
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