Our expert says:
You have been a very astute pupil in larning the jargon and excuses of the psychoanalytic process - and som of its wild claims for which there is absolutely NO good reliable evidence, despite so many decades of its pratice. There is NO good evidence that transference is vital and transofmative. Analysts who enjoy creating such situations say it is so. Those of us who prefer scioentific evidence rather than ex cathedra pontifications, don't accept that.
I think you have misunderstood me in some important respects ( there is still amazingly little evidence for the existence of a "subconscious") but I on't want to get into a lengthy debate or tutorial. Transference is not love, nor vice versa
And you seem to be saying that whatever transference is, one has to gift to it an assumption of being holy genuine love, to give it in turn the power to be transformational.
That you found some aspcts of the experience agreeable, flattering and up[lifting - well, most people respond to the attentions of a seducer in the same way. That doesn't make seduction something which should necessarily be valued ( or paid for !)
That your new therapist is apparently so understanding and forgiving of her transgressive volleague is his/her own choice ; and it he/she is also, as it sounds, basically analytical, she / he is also re-affirming the mythology of analysis and the anallytic trades union.
If he had experienced loss in his life, let alone found your affections afirming, too, then all the more definitivel he was cheating. Therapy is for YOU, and to charge you ( yes, I do harp on that, as Freud would have ) for becoming helpful and comforting for him, he was again transgressing.
That you have apparently managed to grow and gain from even this abusive relationship does not in any way confirm the theory under which you were both labouring, but is a tribute to inner strangths you already had, which you brought into the situation, and which could have been tapped and activated more honestly ( and rapidly ) by more scientifically based therapies.
There's no need to defend whatever degree of transformation you have achieved, but don't asume it was due to what happened. It has been observed that when a clinic for severely regressed schizophrenic patients was devastated by an earthquakwe, even severely regresssed and non-verbal people mustered the strength to not only escape unharmed themselves, but to help opthers to do so. This is impressive and encouraging to all of us, but doesn't mean that earthqakes as such as to be recommended as therapeutic.
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