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Question
Posted by: mia | 2005/07/11

rape

I was gang raped 2 months ago on holiday, by three men! I have told my counsellor the story and that was about it, is that what you are suppose to do to heal? Just retell the story? How are you suppose to work through it, I dont think I am getting through it. I am cutting myself, becoming suicidal and turning to extreme alcohol, is this all normal, I cant cope, its taking over all my thoughts and I have enough problems.. I have my matric prelim exams later this week and Im not gonna get by... I need help, how can I work this through??

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Our expert says:
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No, just retelling the story is by no means all one needs to do. And if your counsellor was at all competent, he/she would know what more needs to be done. If they don't, then get a better counsellor, as they should be able to help a lot.
And alcohol will be bad for you, just as cutting is risky and leaves scars.

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Our users say:
Posted by: SR | 2005/07/11

Your counsellor did not help you very much. You need to go for ongoing therapy. Have you told your family or are you keeping it a secret? Go to the sexual abuse forum and discuss there. Get into a forum where you can get peer pressure advice i.e. woman who have been in your place and have gotten over their ordeal. You need to surround yourself with loving people who will take good care of you. Tell your counsellor that they did not do enough to help. Get a second opinion but get your mindset right for the exams. Don't neglect yourself now.

Reply to SR
Posted by: ... | 2005/07/11

It seems you are not really reading the responses you are getting from this forum, especially those from CS!!! If you were you would notice your posting has been replied to already. Yet you persist in posting the exact same concern, which I may add, is the third time now.
I am not chastising or reprimanding you, but would really like know what is it exactly that you want out of this???
In life you won't really get the help you want unless you actually take it first. Meaning help yourself first. Things fall in place after that but requires at least a little persistance from you.
Tell me, do you harp on your concerns in a similar way with your friends? If so, then I'm sure they may have recognised that you don't really want to be helped but rather swim in your own miseries. The first step towards healing yourself only comes from YOU!!!
You have been wronged, yes, but that does not mean you have to wrong yourself because of it. If you feel there is so much you need to get off your chest, then do so, here if it pleases you, but get it off your chest & resolve to move on. At the moment I feel your worst enemy is you yourself. Don't let it be that way...

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