Posted by: Cassandra | 2004/10/19


I was raped about 5 months ago. I knew the guy. I was druged. It is a friend of mines friend who raped me. My said that I'm a slut and that I slept with him. Every one knows him in my home town. I did report it but didn't go on with the case because I was to scared of the risks involved. I tried to kill myself, I went to see a shrink but I'm still scared when I walk into a place and I have to face this guy cause he knows that I made a case against him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Cassandra,
Isn't it sad that after a rape, it is so often the innocent victim who feels ashamed ( though it wasn't them that did something wrong ) and not the rapist ? Similarly, as with Fallen, it's the "friends" you were with, who failed to protect you and help you, who need to feel ashamed, not you. Continue to see a good shrink, as clearly you have a lot more good work to do there, to free yourself from these inappropriate though natural responses to the horrible experience. And Paul's suggestion for when you meet the rapist is worth thinking about. Let HIM feel ashamed, and if he dared to try to threaten you for saying bad things about him, he'd have to prove that it was untrue ( but it was true ) and that it wasn';t in the public interest for other women to be warned about him ( and it is ).

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jenna | 2004/10/19

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I don't have any advice to offer, but I pray that you find the strenght to make it through this and find happiness again.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Paul | 2004/10/19

I am so sorry to hear about this. Do not be afraid of this bully bastard. Trust me thats what he expects. If you ever see him again and he makes a comment simply say as loud as you can "Leave me alone, last time I was with you you RAPED ME" then he can cower in the shame he deserves.

This is so sad.

Reply to Paul
Posted by: Fallen | 2004/10/19

Same with me. I trusted him - he's married and has a child! He was the most popular guy in school - headboy! Our families are friends! I couldn't report it because of the shame I felt. I haven't seen him since, but I cannot even face the people that were with me that night it happened. How much worse will it be if I see him?

Reply to Fallen

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