Our expert says:
Isn't it sad that after a rape, it is so often the innocent victim who feels ashamed ( though it wasn't them that did something wrong ) and not the rapist ? Similarly, as with Fallen, it's the "friends" you were with, who failed to protect you and help you, who need to feel ashamed, not you. Continue to see a good shrink, as clearly you have a lot more good work to do there, to free yourself from these inappropriate though natural responses to the horrible experience. And Paul's suggestion for when you meet the rapist is worth thinking about. Let HIM feel ashamed, and if he dared to try to threaten you for saying bad things about him, he'd have to prove that it was untrue ( but it was true ) and that it wasn';t in the public interest for other women to be warned about him ( and it is ).
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