Posted by: Me | 2011/07/05

&quot Turning down the husband" 

I have been reading this forum for a long time and what strikes me is the factthat many women seem to " turn their men down" , " not give their men sex"  etc etc.
I was wondering if that is the norm in marraiges?
I have beenmarried for 20+ years and have not turned my husband down once. Even if I did have a headache or did not feel like it.
I would like to hear of other married women in this regard.
Sexologist, what would you say? Is this the norm or is there a reason some women does this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear me
Sexuality is shaped by culture ,self esteem ,religion ,education , rearing and many other factors . In relationships different couples experience desire and deal with desire in different ways . you have responded by always acceding to your partners requests while other partners may not necessarily do the same .Norms are couple determined .

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2011/07/07

That is just amazing. How low must you go to withold sex to get something first?
The party doing this should just always remember that they too have a lot to loose.
Do you really want to force your spouse to go and get it somewhere else? Because this is what you are doing by using sex as a " tool"  to get your own way.
But, the posts that I have read does not say this. So, this is why I am very interested to know from spouses, not getting sex, why they think they are not getting sex....

Reply to Me
Posted by: g | 2011/07/06

Good advise, very good advise and you know what is messed up is, the fact that sex is good for a headache has been researched and is not nonsense. Truth is "  someone woman"  and some men, for reasons known by them can use sex for selfish reasons. Buy me boots or no sex, you talk to my mother like that therefore no sex. It is a method of withholding with an effort to punish the other party, and i suppose a false sense of being the powerful one cause you did the rejection, however this builds up into bigger problems.

If the other parties is stubborn, they can give in but they will get you back.

Reply to g
Posted by: ? | 2011/07/06

I too have never refused my husband and would never. That is absurd, especialy when I enjoy it. We too have been married for over 20 years.
By the way sex is very good for a headache...

Reply to ?
Posted by: MeMeMe | 2011/07/06

To Bee, yes I agree.
Anal sex also stretches you and I have gay friends and 1 female friend in their late 40''s and early 50''s that actually have to wear nappies..... It simply is not the thing to do and I think it is very selfish of men to expect a woman to agree to do this.

Reply to MeMeMe
Posted by: Bee | 2011/07/06

People talk about anal sex like it should be the norm. Do they know it can also cause piles, i.e. a tear in the anus " fisture"  is very painful and needs surgical intervention. Piles is even more painful as the growths sometimes reach proportions which needs surgery. I would never do anal, no matter what. I have some gay friends who have complained that their piles bleeding or hanging out.

Reply to Bee
Posted by: Sultana | 2011/07/06

I am muslim woman, and I can not turn down my hubby, what ever he does, whether anal, oral, vaginal, I am sick, periods.....

Reply to Sultana
Posted by: Faye | 2011/07/06

I dont know. MY husband and I were intimate almost every night till I fell pregnant with my second child, we continued having sex throughout pregnancy, yet he still had an affair!

Reply to Faye
Posted by: jim | 2011/07/05

Sex gives power to women over men - NO QUESTION about it.

Reply to jim
Posted by: Me | 2011/07/05

In a previous post a man says that " sex is power" , that is why women does this.
I am wondering why these women would want to excersise " power"  over their husbands? Why would that it necessary?
I have never felt that sex gives me power over my husband....

Reply to Me
Posted by: XXX | 2011/07/05

You must be a one in a million,as you quite correct,this site proves that far too many women (and sometimes men) turn their partner down on a regular basis and then cry when he has an affair!

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Anon2 | 2011/07/05

No she doesn''t turn him down...that''s when anal comes into play...

Reply to Anon2
Posted by: anon | 2011/07/05

So even if you have your monthly period you wold still make love to your husband

Reply to anon

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