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Question
Posted by: Me | 2007/04/09

Questions about sexuality

My boyfriend and I started dating after being friends for 3 years. We've been dating now for 10 weeks and things are going great. I'm 17 and he's 19. We both want to save ourselves for marriage, so we just enjot great kissing. However, the kissing does get steamy and it feels great. Our bodies don't come too close because I don't want to feel his erection. We basically just lie on a couch and kiss. I usually grab his knee between my legs and squeeze it tight(the pressure helps). I feel quilty after doing this. Is this foreplay? I read that every act you do with your guy that gives him an erection is considered foreplay. And if I squeeze his knee between my legs, what is actually happening to my body? I think about sex frequently these days and last week I fingered myself for the first time. I want to die of quilt. Some advice please?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

The main question I have in relation to this is why do you feel guily - because of what or whom?

Given your ages it is perfectly normal for you to be experiencing the feelings you are, and to want to become intimate with a partner. Exploring yourself sexually is also a very nomal part of adolescence which most religions also acknowledge.

If the two of you have decided to not have sexual intercourse before marriage that is your choice entirely - but you need to think through the reasons for this, and why you have taken this decision that you feel comfortable with it.

At 19 a guy can become aroused very easily and it does not always mean that foreplay has been involved, merely thinking about things can cause an erection.

Try to not get too caught up in a cycle of guilt - being sexual is a very normal part of being human, and you need to place within the context of your own beliefs and decisions.

Best wishes

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