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Question
Posted by: Anne | 2007/05/14

Question why?

I recently had an affair with a friend (??). He suddenly turned around, telling everybody that it was all my idea and that he was completely innocent in the whole affair. I desperately want to save my marriage and therefore I know that I should not contact him ever again, but I cannot stop asking why? Every chance I get, I want to contact him to ask him why? Everybody is believing him and although he says he wants his marriage to work, he is already having another relationship with a co-worker. I am feeling so rejected, I really loved him. Did he ever love me back? How could I have made such a mistake?

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Our expert says:
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Why ? Why did he reveal to you at last what a louse he was ( having an affair with a married woman is not a characteristic of a good man, let alone a good married man ) ? Why did he push all the blame onto you for something the pair of you did together ? To try to avoid taking responsibility for his choices and actions. ASKING him isn't going to do the remotest bit of good --- do you really think he's aware of his grubby motivations, and if he was, that he would tell you ? Assuming you didn't drug him secretly, tie him to a bed and have your wicked way with him against his will, it should be obvious to the smallest intelligence that he is fully as responsible as you are.
So why are you wasting time thinking of contacting him again for what is guaranteed to be a fruitless conversation ? He was using you, not loving you. Rather concntrate your efforts and time on marriage counselling with your poor husband, to try to heal the marriage you already have. You are still facing in the wrong direction

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Our users say:
Posted by: just me | 2007/05/14

You are only human. we all make mistakes at some point in our lives. All you can do is ask for forgiveness from your husband and just hope and pray that he will forgive you. It is not fair for the boyfriend to blame you on this one because you did not have the affair on your own. Forget about him and concetrate on your marriage.

Good luck. I sincerly hope he(hubby)forgives you.

Reply to just me
Posted by: Me | 2007/05/14

that's what you get for being a cheater! Do you know how many of us respect our vows - it serves you right.

Reply to Me

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