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Question
Posted by: adamette | 2005/07/22

puzzling behaviour

I was brought up in a family where standards of behaviour were very high and although I was not aware of any over-strictness in my parents at the time, when i grew up i realised I was quite inhibited in all ways. I married a couple of notches below my family in the social scale and it has not been too easy- I have missed the culture, education and polite behaviour and have been disgusted by some of my spouse's rather coarse behaviour. I believe our children have grown up fairly happily and maybe have the best of both family values. My spouse still works long hours while I work a few hours a day giving me lots of time at home alone, since the children moved out. I have been surprised to find myself indulging in socially unacceptable behaviour- walking around naked, eating messily and too much, peeing in the garden, singing out (quite happily) strings of swearwords, playing the radio loudly enough for the neighbours to hear the music, not bothering to clean up after myself until just before my spouse gets home, when I am dressed wearing any old and even dirty thing as long as it is comfortable, putting off or totally neglecting routine chores. I would diagnose this as empty nest syndrome except that I am really happy to have this time to myself and I must admit i am relieved not to be catering to someone else all the time. It's lovely.The only thing is, I realise that I could be using this time to be catching up on things and then to fulfill a few personal dreams, yet here I am throwing the time away and letting myself go to the extreme. Do I allow myself time to "rebel" or do I try to discipline myself back into civilised behaviour? Am I disturbed? Needless to say I keep all this secret from everyone I know.b

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, the behaviour you describe sounds uncharacteristic of you and your typical standards, and to be worrying you. See a shrink for an assessment and some counselling, as it sounds as if things are becoming a bit confusing for you, whether empty nest or otherwise.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Intenso | 2005/07/22

i was in the same boat, lack of social and intellectual compatibilty, to name but a few dulls the senses, humans are a lot like animals, we adapt to our surroundings and make the most of where or what we find ourselves in. Coarse and or vulgar behaviour begets the same, in such an environment why would you want to be groomed and presentable? who would appreciate it? and so time passes and one day you realise you have adopted some of the very ways you despise in others. Stop! Dont do it anymore, become again the woman you were when you were still in your parents house of course not negelcting your duties as a mother or wife. You must stop as it takes years to find yourself again. If also within the core of you, you are feel unfulfilled you have much deeper issues you have to be frank with and take a look at.

Reply to Intenso
Posted by: Goshi Dannit | 2005/07/22

I find I've slipped into the same rut myself. But my children are still fledglings so am worried that they will see it and start the same thing. I've always prided myself on having social graces but at work I find myself suddenly farting and only getting concerned if some one walks into my office and might smell it.

Reply to Goshi Dannit

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