Posted by: Unsertain | 2007/05/14

Putting the past in the past

A gay guy told me that my boyfriend slept with him, i confronted him and he denied it. We broke up and got together again, he was with this guy alot,slept over but denied having a relatoinship with him. Now he wants me to move in with him. We love each other very much, i'm sur of that. I will never know for serten if he's telling the truth so how do just forget about the past and just trust him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Doesn't one have to have SOME sort of relationship with someone to sleep over at their home ? Or does he sleep over with total strangers ? Why not have you and your bf ( you can leave the other guy out of the arrangement ) see a relationship counsellor together ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dreamgal | 2007/05/14

hey gal

Its really hard to let go of the past ive been in a situation were as i thought that it was over cos i had so much resentment and bitterness towards him.It was so bad that at times i couldnt look at his face and they were times wer i just adored him.

Ive been councelling and it has helped but the memories will always be in my mind and it will always come back to haunt me.

PS: take good care of yourself relax and take 1 day at a time seek prof help if u think that u need it.

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Posted by: J | 2007/05/14

hmmmmmm. You know, I've also had an incident where I wasn't sure about my guy, but we've talked it out to the point where we both are at a better understanding of each other, and we didn't shy away from the hurt that these conversations brought up -- we carried on talking and through it. And how I know for sure I can trust him is that he not only tells me he loves me, but he also acts like he does. It's not just hot air, you know. He won't put me into any situations that are uncomfortable for me. He shows me he loves me by being there for me, not only when it's 'happy go lucky' times, but also when it's tough times -- I can always rely on him, no matter where, what or how. He takes care of me and my feelings, he takes them into consideration with every decision he makes, whether that's going over to his friend to watch rugby, or whether that's starting a new job -- he comes to me first, to discuss and see how I feel about it. That's how I know I can trust him.

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