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Question
Posted by: Candy | 2007/08/13

Prostitute

1,5 Year ago I found out that my husband phoned a prostitutes, he denied that he ever went there but there were 15 phone calls to the same prostitute in a years time. The thing is that I just can not get past it, our sex life is non existent because I dont want him near me on an intimate level, I know this will eventually destroy our marriage. Is there a way to wipe things like that out of your memory or will it be best to seperate and move on. For periods of time it feels that I am over it but something will just trigger it and I have to start all over again to get past it.

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Our expert says:
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I'd also be puzzled about the 15 calls to the same woman. Its not a world I know well, but its hard to believe that she'd provide free conversation, as this would spoil her primary business. You don't need to wipe anything our of your memory, but rather to work on the issue itrepresents, so the memory no longer has the power to disturb you so much. Surely Marriage Counselling is what you both need ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: ddd | 2007/08/14

I am not going to advise to leave your husband for you never held him redhanded, all you got were phone calls. He probably did cheat that we all all know and is not what you are here to find out. You are here to find an advice on how to get past that patch in your marriage.

sometimes certain events trigger a lot about yourself.
sometimes God puts you in a phase for a reason.
Sometimes things happen because the universe directs you to look deep into yourself doing some introspection.

I think in your case this is a opportunity for you to look at whether you are a forgiving and forgetting person? Do you let bygones be bygones? Are you angry with him still, why? What have you done to deal with that shock in your system? Nothing?

I would advise you to visit a very good local CBT for some counselling.

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