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Question
Posted by: Klippies | 2004/10/20

Promised myself

I know one should never take revenge on someone. If you made a promise to someone and had an arrangement and the other party breaks that promise, should you not react on what your agreement was? How many chances must you give someone before you act? I know I will destroy people and their families but what if they do not want to keep their promise?

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Our expert says:
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Surely the essence in a situation like this, is to avoid making any such agreements with that person in the future ? You don't need to give them a second chance to double-cross you or fail you. What's the point in damaging others, including innocent family members ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: A | 2004/10/21

Klippies - what area are you from?

Reply to A
Posted by: Klippies | 2004/10/21

To Casey,
Thanks for the kind words. I cannot reveal everything at this time but I will do that sometime. This morning I am feeling better but my mind is still set to do what has to be done. You say there may be other ways to deal with this, but to me this is the only way. You can give me some suggestions for my mind is clogged and I cannot think straight.
To Shaun.
I am standing up for myself. I will not turn around and walk away as yet. I will walk away when I am finished. Die grap dat ek moet ophou om iets te suip verstaan ek nie so lekker nie.

Reply to Klippies
Posted by: me | 2004/10/20

Hey, is that you Lex?!

Reply to me
Posted by: Casey | 2004/10/20

Klippies,
What happened? Outright, what happened? It's your life we're dealing with, not just the present, but the future as well.
You have only one, to let people help you destroy your own life is unfair, just because they can't hold to their word.
It makes them weak, and when you respond in anger it makes you weaker. And you do not sound weak, although you sound hurt.
Again, I'm not in your shoes, with that hurt. But talking it through before action is taken - damaging action - could help. Maybe there are other ways to deal with this. Why not give it a try?

Reply to Casey
Posted by: Klippies | 2004/10/20

To Casey.
Apart of me was detsroyed a while ago and now the last sane part was destroyed. I deeply care for the person and this now ended every feeling I have inside of me. I cannot destroy myself for I have been destroyed by them. It is a pity that they didn't believe me for now they will learn what it is to keep a promise.

Reply to Klippies
Posted by: Klippies | 2004/10/20

Ek voel baie sterk hieroor want my lewe was en is verwoes deur hierdie dinge. Ek het niks om te verloor nie. Ek is moeg vir leuens en hierdie moeilikheid dat ek nie meer gaan terugsit en kyk hoe die mense 'n fool van my maak nie! Dalk wanneer hulle alles verloor het sal hulle onthou dat 'n mens se woord is sy woord. Ek voel vir hulle families maar in elke oorlog sneuwel daar onskuldiges.

Reply to Klippies
Posted by: Diablo | 2004/10/20

Klippies dink voor jy doen maar as dit by 'n girl kom is dit nie die moeite werd om iets dom te doen nie,draai om en loop weg.Daar is nog ander girls wat eerlik is en wat jy kan op staat maak en vertrou,nie al die vrouens daar buite is die selfde nie.

Baie het advantage gevat van my omdat ek ook te sag was maar sit jou voet neer en se,ek is die belangrikste mens in die lewe en ek moet na my self omsien voordat ek doen aan ander.

Onthou onder enige slegte omstandighede skyn die son weer more net skerper en mooier.Soos ek se,dink mooi voordat jy doen die lewe is te kort om jouself te-na te kom vir ander.

Sterkte ou maat.

Reply to Diablo
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/20

Hi Klippies,

It seems you feel quite strongly about this, but revenge is usually only sweet for that moment.
If you feel you've been taken advantage of then stand up for yourself & make yourself heard & understood.
I would say that if this "relationship" was worth them breaking their word, you don't need to stoop to their level. Also, I feel if this "relationship" & their breaking their wod only means them keeping in contact, then let them be. I don't think it's fair to destroy families over selfish individuals.

If you've given up quite a lot then you should make efforts to recover your losses without predicament to others.

As I mentioned earlier Klippies, only you know the full extent of your breaking your promise. I personally don't think using it as a threat or getting revenge is a good enough reason.

Don't worry, I can in a way understand your dilemna. I have to make sure I keep these exact words in mind in the near future.

Again, Good luck Klippies, en moenie te veel van daai stuff sluip nie (spot net),
Cheers,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Casey | 2004/10/20

A promise is a promise, no argument there.
And the parties are aware of the consequences of not adhering to their side of the bargain.
Tell me, if you will, does their making contact with each other destroy a part of you, or someone you care deeply about, that it invokes such a serious consequence?
Destroying people's lives might also destroy you, can you live with thinking that you were the cause of that type of destruction?
It's difficult because I don't really know your circumstance, I'm just trying to offer help as I can, and maybe it's just to help you see a bigger picture.
But promises are serious, I understand that part.

Reply to Casey
Posted by: Klippies | 2004/10/20

Ek sal niks onverantwoordeliks doen nie want in ons tronke wil jy nie wees nie. Dis net dat mense jou nooit glo nie omdat jy hulle die eenkeer vergewe het en 'n saggeaarde mens is. Dit sal sweet revenge wees want ek het genoeg opgeoffer aan die verhouding en nou is dit sulke tyd!!

Reply to Klippies
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/20

Sorry Klippies, but I don't think thats a promise but rather a threat.

Depending on who the people are to you, do you think it's worth destroying others lives? Would it not be easier to leave them to their own demise & be the bigger person & step away from this? Is their communication so bad that you feel you need revenge?
How many people get hurt/destroyed if you do nothing?

Sorry for all the questions, but I think maybe you should ask yourself these things before you destory families.

Also know that we don't know the actual details of this situation so we can only comment on what we know.

I hope you find your solace & choose wisely,
Cheers,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Diablo | 2004/10/20

Once bitten and twice shy.No one is allowed to break a promise,a promise you make is a promise you keep.Ek sal altyd laaste lag want laaste lag is die lekkerste.Al gehoor van sweet revenge - maar dink eers mooi voordat jy enige iets doen die tronke is oorvol en jy wil nie met die gereg bots nie.

Reply to Diablo
Posted by: Klippies | 2004/10/20

A promise was made that they never contact each other ever again and that promise was broken. My promise to them was if this happens I will destroy their lives.

Reply to Klippies
Posted by: Casey | 2004/10/20

A promise is a very serious commitment, however, so is destroying people and their families. You are very vague, for a good reason, I'm sure. All I can offer for the little information presented is - think.
Think about the severity of the consequences of a promise broken vs. the consequences of destroyed lives and families. This sounds like a hairy situation. Can you elaborate at all?

Reply to Casey

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