Posted by: nicky | 2009/03/09


I have a boyfriend of 4years that i feel is slowering my progress. in the past 2 years i wanted to buy a house and we agreed on giving him a chance to do so..and instead i changed my car as the agreement was him buying a house. he became financial unstable during that time, he still isnt financially stable, and it can take him another year or so. this year i decided on going for a house on my own and he said its fine. im not sure if this is the kind of man i would love to have in my life anymore. he has been promising to marry in for the past 2 years..and money is the problem...this is causing stress to me..pls help.

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Our expert says:
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This sounds like mainly a money problem but actually about issues of compatibility between you, maybe a lack of ambition and drive on his side --- and perhaps he is already geting everything he wants from the set-up, and sees no reason to change, including buying a house or marriage

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Our users say:
Posted by: You go girl ! | 2009/03/10

You are my sort of girl, for sure. Go out there and make a life for yourself without being tied down to a no hope loser. Its not about money per se, its about making progress towards your life' s dream. Too many people are only concerned about the now and here and lose sight of the future. Whatever you do, never go shares in a house if you can avoid it and if you marry, exclude your house and all your own possessions with an ante nuptial contract with a non accrual clause. Keep accurate records of who spends how much on what, no I' m not being anal, just very practical. This is not being negative, but realistic. Not all marriages are made in heaven. As some wag said, there are two types of marriage, those that end up in divorce and those that remain unhappy !! If yours goes toes up, you will still have your own things and can make a good start again. You don' t want to end up on your parents/relatives/friends carrying a black plastic bag with all your worldly possessions ands carry the burden of a divorce.Scope your potential hubby out carefully, take off the rose tinted glasses and note the small things. It will save you a boat load of crap in the future. You go for it girl !! (Lose the loser)

Reply to You go girl !
Posted by: nicky | 2009/03/09

reply to all
this person ' s dream is the one that is hindering my progress, coz i tried to help him realise it and taking a toll on my life as well, and i have came to a stage where i have to help myself too..its not about money.

Reply to nicky
Posted by: Bill | 2009/03/09

For richer or poorer, not one mention of love? But strong attraction to money, rather stay single and don' t punish or demoralise the unfortunate guy or yourself.

Reply to Bill
Posted by: erm | 2009/03/09

is this a mental health issue?

so you are stressed that your not " progressing"  in life fast enough with your guy? is that your problem? could be worse, you could be living in a shack... if you love money more than him then leave him

Reply to erm

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