Our expert says:
CyberShrink
It is never wise to form a relationship with a divorced or separated ( or dumped ! ) person unless and until you can be sure they are over their ex and that the ex plays no negative continuing role in their life. A door should be open or shut. Why hasn't he changed the locks on his doors to stop her entering whenever she wishes ? Why isn't she seeing a counsellor to learn how to move on with her life rather than staying in reverse gear ? See a relationship counsellor together so he can learn to put his foot down and end this --- its surely not actually doing either of them any good, apart from you. And by all means give him an ultimatum here --- either he does something significant to end this nonsense, or he carries on this way on his own, while you find a man who is genuinely free to enter a relationship
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