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Question
Posted by: Probs | 2007/05/18

Problems

My bf and I moved in together and we are still in the process of moving things from my house to his. I have a lot of things as I have lived on my own for 9 years, I've tried to sell things but cant find buyers. At the moment his house is very untidy which I understand is not nice but I'm trying to sort it out, he says this is upsetting him. Since I moved in his face kinda tells a different story like he doesnt want me there, he doesnt smile or laugh anymore and when I talk to him he walks away. I have just moved in but trying to find another place to stay. This morning our baby of 1 year broke a vase and the look he gave me was telling me that in no uncertain terms that I should sort it out, how can I discipline a 1 year old? She doesnt know what she is doing. I dont feel comfortable there but dont know what to do. Do you think things will change?

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Our expert says:
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Are you saying that while he was happy to have you move in ( which could be convenient to him in a number of ways ) your furniture and possessions are not welcome ? The 1 year-old child is HIS child, you say --- so why does he blame you when she does what a child does ? Does he take no responsibility ? As sweet cheeks says, he needs to remember that you are both supposed to be adults and to behave like adults. He is perhaps over-reacting to he invasion of his space. People seem to forget that moving in together isn't about sharing sex, but sharing space and possessions and developing a real relationship. You need to discuss this with him, perhaps even with the aid of a relationship counsellor, to see whether this can be worked out.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sweet cheeks | 2007/05/18

GIrlfriend if he is getting upset over your baby breaking a vase u need to have a serious conversation with him about this transition! Maybe its not sitting too well right now as he suddenly has people in his territory that previously was only his space. And if he feels he can't handle this new situation ask him CARINGLY what would be comfortable for him and tell him what u are comfi with & take it from there. Remember u two are adults & should handle this amicably even if u do move out as he is still the father of u'r baby

GOOD LUCK

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