Our expert says:
Gosh, C, such an EXTREMELY long message is Cruella indeed ! Its really worth drafting such a long "question" in your word-processor, and then editing it down as far as possible - because the exercise of clarifying the question and only the most essential supporting details, is in itself a significant way to start helping yourself.
It sounds as though this person is pickled in bitterness over issues she has been brooding over for many many years, and for some reason chose some trivial incident at the wedding as an excuse for the psychological pimple to burst - and to indulge herself by pouring out all her anger and sour feelings. Sounds like much of it may not even be about you, but sometimes in life you're a lightning rod, and because you stand out when the storm arives, you get the lightning strike.
You need to discuss this with your husband, and make a joint decision. Maybe she must be told she has been highly and deliberately offensive and deserves no further apologies - and must apologise herself, and agree to join in some family sessions ( maybe with the aid of a family counsellor ) to sort things out ; or to take her sourness off into the wilderness, and leave yourselves out of it.
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