Posted by: Sylvia | 2009/05/29

Problem with 3yrs 10month old boy

In the last two weeks my boy seem queit sometimes,wet himself when sleeping even number 2. He wont explain to you why he did that. At homes there are no changes I have another son who is 5 months they relate well, and he has welcomed him since he arrived in December. What must I do to help my boy?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, if it happens in his sleep, he wouldn't be able to explain it to you. And an explanation from him isn't really what you need --- he's not doing it deliberately ( if he were, he'd choose a time more convenient to him! ) Purple sums up the position rather well. And its a good point that acidents happen, but the more upset he got or was made to feel aboput the acident ( not necessarily you blaming him directly, but him seeing you being upset and bothered ) this might increase the likelihood of further such events. Sometimes one does see such a slightly older child, even if seemingly happy with a new sib, notice how much extra attention the baby receives for nappy changes, and may without thinking of it as a strategy, regress to be les mature in this respect, expecting more attention, too.
Give him a bit more attention with praise when he does NOT have an accident, and deal with the accidents more mater-of-factly and with minimal interaction.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2009/05/29

although most boys start being able to control bladder and usually bowel too as they near age three, some do this much later and some do this much earlier - three is just the average.

night time control only happens about a year after they have full day time control.

They can' t explain why they do this - as it is an accident, they haven' t consciously tried to do it.

From the sounds of your question though, he had control before and it' s suddenly started happening. It might be that he had a little accident (as even children up to age 6 and close to age 7 can do if they are very involved in a game or they are in a deep sleep), and becuaes you asked why and made a big deal out of it, he got worried and it started happening more. Put a waterproof over the mattrass, and if it does happen, change the sheets, clean him up, give him a hug and reassure him that everyone has accidents and that it happened to you when you were small too and then all go off to sleep again.

What might also be happening - specifically as you mention that he is pooing in bed and not just wetting, is that as much as he has accepted baby, at 5 months, she is starting to get a lot more interactive and cuter, and he might just be trying to get your attention - and even though you might be giving him lots of positive attention, he might be feeling that it' s not as much as before.

He might also have something on his mind that is worrying him. I tmight not even be a big thing. A thing or incident that an adult things is very trivial can be a huge, insurmountable problem to a toddler or young child. If you can have someone look after baby one saturday morning, take your little boy out or stay home together for some special time, and try to find out what is going on in his little life. They can' t always find the right words to say what they mean, so when he describes something, paraphrase it and say it back to him and ask him if you have understood correctly. Give him the words for the different emotions he is feeling.

With time, these things do pass, by age 5 they have far better verbal skills and handle problems differently, and also get your attention in other ways (like running wiht scissors if you are on the p hone as they know that gets you right off the phone).

Reply to Purple

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.