Our expert says:
from your descriptions, which is all I can go on the difficulty lies in what is being modelled for him by his father. At his age he will be beginning to think about who he is and what it means to change from being a boy to a young person to a man. If the man he identifies with is abusive and aggressive, this is what he will consider as part of a man's repertoire. If you have made the decision to move I would support you in doing so asap, as this kind of abuse going onin the home is good for noone.
If the problems continue for your son, I would ask you to consider the merits of some time in an adolescent in-patient unit in his early teens rather than these issues escalating further. This is not a punishment, but a form of intensive psychotherapy that can really assist troubled young people. One such unit is based in Cape Town at Kenilworth Clinic called KAYA. You can take a look at www.kenilworthclinic.co.za
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