Our expert says:
First and foremost it would be important to just to 'check in' with yourself to make sure that your difficulty getting used to sex with this boyfriend is not about struggling to adjust after the loss of your late partner...
I would absolutely recommend that you do not ever tell him that his penis is 'too small'; this would be hurtful, is not necessarily 'true', and is certainly not likely to be helpful to your problem. A woman's vagina is most sensitive in and around the entrance and up to a couple of inches inside; it doesn't therefore take a penis more than a couple of inches long to be able to touch some of the more senstive areas. If your concerns relate to girth (width), then perhaps what you could do is practice some pelvic floor muscle exercises to increase your sensitivity and muscle tone to assist you with your arousal during penetrative sex ('knyp' those mucles you use to stop the flow of urine, practice this by repeatedly tensing and relaxing those muscles a few minutes each day and also do this during penetration). You may also try to focus more on the sensations in your genitals and gently guide him towards those areas which please you most. Remember that women may experience sexual pleasure through means other than just penetration, so if the relationship is one that you want to develop, it would seem worthwhile to explore different ways of experiencing pleasure rather than being slave to penetrative pleasure.
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