Our expert says:
We might not think of it as abuse, but for a husband to make no provision for his wife ( especally as wives usually outlive their husbands ) IS abuse. Maybe someone said "Put her in a home", but that is not what I said. I pointed out that what may be a difficult but manageable situation can drastically change when the older person becomes seriously medically ill or develops dementia - they would need constant attention, which you could probably not provide without givingnup your job on which you both depend. And because there is a disgraceful lack of proper facilities for such situations, I advised that it's worth starting early to look at what;'s available, just so as to have that choice if it gets to that point.
Where there are more than one child of the family, then all should of course share in the burden. But especially when one is an only child, or the only child left, it is a very sad and often desperate situation, which those who don't experience it don't understand. I wish there were more practical alternatives, and like you, I wish more adults were encouraged to realize that NOT to make adequate provision for their old age is in fact abusive towards their children.
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