Posted by: boo | 2009/01/31


fiance of 10 years has used substances for a while cleaned up act, i followed his example did it 1 more time, he has now broken it off, realised my actions were the result thereof, asked him to forgive me, i have now gone and made it worse, by going out with friends for drinks as they wanted to cheer me up, he saw me out and now doesn' t believe my remorse, which is what i have. i am digging myself into such a deep hole, what can i do to salvage a friendship at the least, is there anything i can do or is it too late, i have hurt him terribly and have regrets but he doesn' t want to hear it.

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Our expert says:
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First rule --- when you find yourself in a hole --- STOP DIGGING ! Its understandable why he was upset, though not why he should behave now as though mortally offended. What you did |1 more time" was indeed stupid, as you realize, and your follow-up hardly improved matters. Give it a short while to settle, and then open calm discussion about it, explaining how you feel, why you regret it, and what you plan for the future.

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Our users say:
Posted by: boo | 2009/02/02

Hi Doc,

Thanks for your response. I did not mention that he is moving out today - started packing on Thursday already. We had a wonderful day yesterday - very relaxed spoke about everyhting but our relationship do I ask him what happens much time does one give a person, how do i know that it' s not lost forever, how do i know that he will take me back. 10 years is a lifetime and we were going to

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