Posted by: Mum to two | 2007/03/06

Pregnant with third - sterilisatiom

I am 25. I have two kids one 8 and one 1. I just found out I am pregnant again, 4 weeks, I am on Nordette, seems to have not worked.
I have a job and can manage somehow to maintain my kids, their father is involved in their lives and is a good father. He is now unemployed and we pretty much survive on my salary of R4000.
I am still considering whether I want to keep the baby or not. I am still studying, I work until late, I have the rent to worry about, the school fees, food for us, food and nappies for the 1 year old. I cant afford to have any more kids.

Last year I asked my doctor about sterilizing and he refused. I am 25 going on 26, I want a good life for my family and I am more than 100 % sure I dont want any more kids ever ever ever again.
Can it be done even though I am still regarded as young to make make this kind of decision.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGynaeDoc

The recommendations from the medical colleges are that sterilisations not be done under the age of 30 years. The reason for this is that often people's circumstances change and they wish to have more children later. Women who have had sterilisations all think at the time that they do not want any further children. The success rate with reversal of sterilisation is poor and this can cause a lot of distress.

Best wishes

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Our users say:
Posted by: Unique | 2007/03/06

I would advise not to abort. I've heard how some of the women who abort really regret it later. Right it looks all gloomy but when you reach a point where you regret aborting you'll see that this was all manageable. I know I have no right to say what you must do with your life but if I was in your shoes I don't believe abortion would be right decision.

Reply to Unique
Posted by: Dee | 2007/03/06

Plz dont abort, plz. you will make it work. I would give anything to be in your shoes, been trying for over a year and still nothing.

Reply to Dee
Posted by: One Woman | 2007/03/06

How old are your kids Jojo?was it a difficult choice or not?

Reply to One Woman
Posted by: Jojo | 2007/03/06

I had my third child at 26. Opted for a Cesar and steri...and the doctor asked me once before i had baby, if i was sure...Then he asked once more just after baby was born before doing the steri...but he had no objections!!

Reply to Jojo
Posted by: Mum to two | 2007/03/06

I haven't decided yet what I am going to do, I found out Monday morning. When I fell pregnant the first time I was still very young, I didn't even think of aborting, it wasn't an option because I dont believe in it, the second child was planned and I have been lucky enough to still be with the same man for 9 years. Now I have to cross a bridge I never thought I would because of our finances, it is unfair to my other two kids to bring in another child when I can barely afford them.

I havent told my fiance yet, he doesnt even know that I am pregnant, he is under so much stress trying to help me with the kids and bringing money into the house. The added stress of another baby on the way will just kill him. Both our parents are very involved in our lives but there is only so much they can do for us.

I hate feeling like a charity case to my parent and his parents

Reply to Mum to two
Posted by: Pls | 2007/03/06

I think the best thing you will never regret doing is to keep your unborn baby untill it arrives and opt for sterilization thereafter. I do believe that if you can search thourouhly you can find a doctor who will understand your situation and agree to your decision. Whatever you decide please don't terminate your pregnancy because the psychological stress it will bring you will be unbearable. You can go back to your dr who refused to sterilize you maybe he will now understand.

Reply to Pls

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