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Posted by: BoogyBabe | 2004/10/08

Pregnant & Dating 2 men - Shaunn, anyone HELP

I know some of u will say i deserve the price that i am about to pay. As i told you guys on this forum that i have 2 guys in my life. Guy 1 is sort of an ex boyfriend and guy 2 is staying out of the counrty. Always when i feel lonely i use to get together with with Guy 1. Guy 2 is a very nice guy and i am not prepared to loose him over Guy 1.

I just found out last nite that i am 2 months pregnant and the sad part is from day one i used protection with Guy 2, so the answer that remains is that Guy 1 is the father. Guy 2 just came to the country to visit me and he did comment when he arrived that i have put on some wait.

Guy 1 is an irresponsible bastard who has another girlfriend and a baby, how do i get out of this one. Another thing i one of those people who feel arbotion is murder. How do i get out of this one??Shaunn?Anyone Help?

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Our expert says:
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Hi BoogyBabe,
Why were you not using protection with Guy 1 ? You don't need potection from impregnation by a guy who is out of the country. From your description, guy 1 is nobody to rely on, and not worth even the time you used to give him. Can you sit quietly with Guy 2, while he's here ( hard, I know, but much esier than at long distance ) and tell him how you feel about him, and what happened, and ask his advice on what you should do ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ntsikie | 2004/10/08

Hi boogie babe, Youve made a mistake and now The best thing for you to do is accept that you might loose the man you love, or not.Babies are a gift from God, you might be worried now, but believe me when the child arrives you`ll have nothing but love for the child. If it happens that G2 breaks up with you, there are a lot of us ladies raising kids singlehandedly and doing a good job at it.Everything that happens to us is for a reason, who knows, the baby might turn out to be SA`s future president.

Reply to Ntsikie
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/10/08

There is no way to get out of this situation - you now need to manage the situation.

Wheigh up the alternatives and decide what would be best for your baby and yourself. If you don't want to end up with G1 you need to tell G2 as soon as possible and find out what his feelings are about this situation. Then decide.

Whatever the outcome, G1 must take up his responsibilities as the father of the child.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: ck | 2004/10/08

COuldnt have said that better myslef, now YOU ARE ALL ALONE AND PREGNANT. AND THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN BEING PREGNANT AND ALONE, WHITHOUT ANYONE TO RUB YOUR FEET WHEN THEY SWELL OR HAVE SOMEONE RUNNING TO THE CONVINIENT STORE AT NIGHT BECAUSE YOU CRAVE ICE CREAM AND PICKLES.

Reply to ck
Posted by: Sours | 2004/10/08

Like Honey had said..."white sluts....hop for one man's bed to another!" Now face the consquences..slut

Reply to Sours
Posted by: CK | 2004/10/08

thats what happens when you think you are a playa, (sorry you just got played) you deserve it.

You are most probably going to loose guy 2 and Ihope guy 1 is taking care of his other baby, if he is at least you know he'll care for yours.

Hope this is a lesson, be faithful or use PROTECTION.

Reply to CK
Posted by: Mona | 2004/10/08

Most important here is the baby, not you, so even if guy 1 and guy 2 leaves you now, you have a responsibility towards the baby. By telling guy 1 you might get a bit of financial support, by telling guy 2, you might loose him, but nou ja, that was the risk you took when you slept with guy 1. You had your pleasure, now look out for whats best for the baby!

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/08

Hi BB,

I am not here to judge you coz what is done has been done. What is needed is for you to realise how to deal with the consequences of what has happened.
You have said that you are against abortion, & so am I generally. But I'm sure we both know that there are circumstances when this is necessary, & this is not one of those times (My opinion people).
What you're left with then BB, is to face the situation. The sooner, the better. I take it that you have had it confirmed by a doc? Also from what I understand, more than 6 weeks & you shouldn't even consider abortion.
Seek out somebody from your circles of family, friends or relatives that you can depend on. Tell them of your dilemna & request their assistance in this matter.
From what you tell me thus far, seems like G2 is a great guy so I would really urge you to tell him. Get your facts together & when you tell him, be factual. I don't think there is any other way BB.
As you say you already know what you did may be condemned, but accept it as you thought they might be. You need to concentrate your efforts on not stressing out & not adding more tension to your life.
Make your decision as to which guy you want to be with & resort to being true to that guy from this day on. It won't only be good for you, but the baby as well.
Yes you're going to have a lot of flack & maybe even heartache to deal with, but seeing as you put yourself in that position, only you can get yourself out BB.

I'm sorry if I couldn't help much more than that but I feel you know all this already.

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: always be postive :) | 2004/10/08

That does sounds like a tough situation you are in...
But i believe there is a reason for every thing...for all we know this is going to be a very special baby. I agree abortion is a sin , dont even go down that road. You made the mistake of sleeping around before you were married, which will eventually lead to unhappy things anyways...now use this time to do the responsible thing.

I have a sister-in-law who got divorce while pregnant and is raise the cild all on her own and is doing such an aweosme job...so you are no alone in this!

Use this time to think about your mistakes and what your future with hold...Make some positive decisions now for your life so that you and your baby can have a happy future!

Reply to always be postive :)
Posted by: Paul | 2004/10/08

Manto said it all.

Reply to Paul
Posted by: Manto | 2004/10/08

You appear to have named yourself very well - you have boogied like a babe and now you end up with a baby.

By excluding abortion, you accept carrying the baby to full term, thus leaving you with the option of adoption or permanent "ownership". Guy 1 has already shown an ability to father babies willy-nilly (or with his willy) and Guy 2 will probably stay where ever he is. Either way, you are screwed (pun intended).

Time to grow up, time to be responsible, time to take responsibilty. You ask how you "will get out of this one" - you can't, you will not be able to dodge this bullet.

Reply to Manto

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