Posted by: CONFUSED!! | 2007/05/28

Pregnant and boyfriend cheated!

Hi everyone, i am really confused i am 23 weeks preg and this weekend i found out that my boyfriend of 3 yrs whom i loved n trusted has been cheating on me, i found pictures of a girl in his room and i found a piece of paper with a list of girls his slept with and one of the girls is his cousins girlfriends's friend whom i know very well. i asked him and he denied everything not knowing that i have valid evidence and when i showed him the paper he was shocked and was speechless and i just left him lyk dat and than he kept on phoning me and i wudnt pick up and in da evening i eventually did and he confessed to everything and apologised and said he will never do it again and wants us to get married and i refused and he begged me and said he wants me to be his wife and i love him very much but i dnt think i can take him bk after what he did to me. Last night i was fine but know dat im thinking abt everything i get more n more angry what must i do?

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Our expert says:
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There seems, sadly, to be an epidemic of this going on very recently, and I can't imagine why. Why not, as he sounds possibly apologetic and willing to change his ways, tell him to join you in working with a proper mariage counsellor, to see what can be sorted out ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sk | 2007/05/29

my boyfriend of 6 years cheated and went ahead and had a child with someone else while i was pregnant. i broke up with him he begged for my frogiveness and said he has changed and would like to get married. i forgave but nothing could take away the hurt.i realised that i would always be his doormat if i stayed in the relationship. i decided to let him go and when i finally told him it was over he beat me up. ladies a man who cheats and shows this level of disrespect is just a player and no matter what he says, he'll never appreciate you if you forgive him.

Reply to Sk
Posted by: LILI | 2007/05/29

Hey Confused, I'm 19 weeks pregnant and my husband of 7 years cheated on me with a girl of 22 (I'm 32) I was also shocked but after reading your post I want to tell you it's not's them...They are scared that somehow the baby will take away them being young boys!!!!! I still don't know what I'm going to do but all you have to do now is think of your baby...That's your focus for now......His feeling guilty and can't face you that's why is acting so funny towards you....hang in there my friend.....I know how you feel but us girls are very strong and we will get over this........I wish I had a magic word to say and then everything will be the way it was but that's not how it works hey!!! We have babies o worry about and hang in there....
Alida xxxx

Reply to LILI
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/05/29

Get out, change your number, move to another place and let him never find you! He'll make you even more depressed after your little one is born! Think about your baby now and forget the idiot! Oh I hate men like that!

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/05/28

Yes, Confused I also don't get that..I have snooped in the past and found out a whole lot, but I have never ever told him how I's like not having evidence, wish I had your guts.

I think you must just make up your mind that you're not going back to him and stick to it. Trust is very hard / hardly possible to rebuild.

Good luck.

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: confused | 2007/05/28

i cant believe he has the nerve to call me and ask me why was i looking through his stuff when i found the photo and note

Reply to confused
Posted by: Dove | 2007/05/28

Why are you worried it has happened in your culture for years that the men all had girlfriend and they were married. Mark my words you will take him back in time.

Reply to Dove
Posted by: Joy | 2007/05/28

He was acting on impulse when he mentioned the marraige thing, and is clearly trying to manipulate you since he knows that this is typically what you wanna hear right now. Another reason why you should stay as far away from him as possible..continue ignoring his calls and dont reply to his sms's..if it gets too much just switch off your phone and put it somewhere where you cant see it..and then figure out things for yourself..without him interferring. this is a crucial time for you and this decision you're about to take is so vital..dont feel obligated to make it rushed and impulsive..take your time and ignore him for now.

Reply to Joy
Posted by: Me | 2007/05/28

The best thing to do is stay away from him if he is making you angry. You need to think about your unborn baby here and not stress yourself out. You need to think about yourself and what kind of life you want with this man and if he cheated on you now whats it going to be like when you are married.

I am sorry that you are going through this and i can only hope that you make the right decision.

Reply to Me

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