Posted by: Mom2b | 2008/08/27

Pregnancy readiness

Hi all. I' m not trying to insinuate that all men whose g/f' s or wives are pregnant are like, but I' ve realised that most are. My pregnancy was planned, but now he says he' s not ready. If he is going through some phase, how long will this take. My life is standstill at the moment, not by choice and his is moving. I see him (from his friend' s fotos) at gatherings and having a lekker jol. We havent spoken to each other in the last 3 months as with the last discussion he just walked out saying that the pregnancy took him by suprise. Do some men ever think about what we women have to give up while pregnant and is this a geniune break for him or constructive break up of our relationship? I' m deeply hurt and would love for things to work but I seem to be the one doing the work all the time.

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Our expert says:
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Most such "phases" are inventions and excuses. Yes, like a woman but with different dimensions, a man does need to re-adjust to the reality of a pregnancy and the prospect of fatherhood. But that isn't enormously difficult, and he can see a counsellor if he's really finding it very difficult for some reason. And he isn't going to get through this "phase" by going out jolling with pals. Maybe he sees fatherhood as the end of his carefree youth, but that, too, is no real excuse. NOt to be around and caring even more about YOUR adjustments and problems than his own, is immature and unmanly. IS there any way to talk him into joining you in marriage counselling ?

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