Posted by: Realy Sad | 2012/01/28

pregnancy hormones or just complaining?

Dear Shrink,

My partner of 18 months and I are expecting. Im 34 weeks and we are engaged for a month. Our baby is planned and not unexpected. We are realy excited, but there are some things bothering me and I dont know if I should make a big deal out of it. First of all, we are both on FaceBook and after a few months of dating I asked him to change his ''single'' status to ''in a relationship'' or ''nothing''. He changed to ''nothing'' meaning there is nothing showing on his status. He hasn''t requested me as being in a relationship with him on FB or that he is in a relationship. He claims it''s not necessary.
Secondly...Now that we are engaged, I said that I will buy him a ring as well. But he says he doesnt like to wear rings or jewelry. He prefers a chain with the ring on it.
Thirdly...I asked if he wanted to take pregnancy pics with me and he said we have to wait until the baby arrives. Now I have to take pics alone and when I see my friends pictures or other peoples pregnancy pictures and how hapy they look, it realy makes me sad. Do u think Im just paranoid and that he is who he is and thats it, I should just except him for the person he is, in which most cases I do. I dont want to nag over small things, but it just makes me realy sad...mayb its the hormones...who knows.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Oh, the worries and problems Facebook causes ! Talk about it together and calmly ask him to explain his attitude to his Facebok status, and whether he has any plans to change it, and if not, why not ? Is the manner of wearing a ring no a mater of personal taste ? Pregnancy pics are not a major tradition, and though some women find it an agreeable way to boast of pregnancy and happiness, and may want the man in the picture to prove they have a man, its not somehing any men consider normal or desirable. Maybe the hormones are indeed making you more niggly, as they can do that. Chat about the niggles, and don't make them too much of a drama

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sandra | 2012/01/29

From my 2 pregnancies all I can say is that as much as thought it can''t be my hormones, looking back I can see I was almost out of control in terms of handling my emotions and feelings- I was very irrational and EVERYTHING was a big thing but I just couldn''t see it at the time. I did however find that in both my pregnancies my husband almost " rebelled"  against me - I don''t know if it was the shift in terms of attention, fear of the unknown or feeling that he had been downgraded to the bottom of the food chain but he just did silly little things that sometimes made me feel that we weren''t on the same page. I would say that you will probably be in a better position to tackle this issue a couple of months after having the baby - it is a very emotional, often anxious, even though joyful time and you will need time to settle into your new routine with baby - i think i starting becoming ''normal'' at about 8 weeks. if the alarm bells are still ringing then, it may be a good time to go for some counselling to discuss your feelings. Good luck with your last couple of weeks and I hope it all works out.

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