Our expert says:
Unhappiness can become a bad habit, even in the absence of Depression. But that is his problem, and friends can only try to persuade him to seek help and at least see a counsellor.
He sounds selfish / self-centred, and if he earns so much, then where all the money is going is a mystery, and may, if the answer is drugs, liquor, gambling, or other such wastes, also be contributing to his problems and yours.
You're not to be blamed for "trying to control him" when you merely try to bring some sort of order to his selfish and chaotic life-style.
Its hard to have sympathy for someone who demands sympathy from you, wailing about what a bad person he is, without bothering to stop being so bad and to clean up his bad behaviour - he has better choices he can't so far be bothered to make.
Have the two of you really not found a better way to deal with contraception, rather than creating these pregnancies which sound hardly fair to the eventual child ? Why do you persist in staying with this loser, and having children by him ?
It makes sense for you to move out and take better care of yourself and your child(ren), and let him take full responsibility for caring for himself. If he choses self-damaging behaviour, it may well be purely manipulative, and is his choice, and not your fault. Don't keep on giving in to an emotional blackmailer.
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