Posted by: bi-curious woman (Tamara) | 2007/04/30

Practising safe bi-sex

Dear Expert, Tammy and the rest of you guys,

I hope that you are doing alright and that the long (extended) weekend is great with you.

I have been visiting your site frequently. I have long known of my curiosity to be with another woman. Finaly my husband and I have agreed that I must try this out. We placed an ad with our profile of what we are looking for in an online adult dating and swinging site, znights. We have made online contact witha few individuals. Some MSN chat and exchanged photos.

Some of those explicit photos of theirs showed little or no protection at all - especially those that say they do full-exchange of spouses. This got me and my husband so concerned, we asked others who claimed that they test for HIV regularly for insurance purposes. I once owrked for insurance company, a very big one in the country and we never used to reveal the status to clients we would just add an AIDS loading if a person is positive. So people would go home thinking that they are insured and therefore are negative. i do not know what is the situation now that was many years ago.

Anyway, I want you guys to advise me how do I practise safe sex play during my first encounter with another lady? What are the precautions and what are the tools that I must use for safe sex, to ensure that I do not get infected by the lady, just in case she has any STD or may be positive and is unaware?

I treat every situation as a risk with this HIV/AIDs pandemic outside. Please help, advise.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Tamara, a warm welcome to the forum and thanks for your post.

I hope you saw the response to post 483, which was aimed at HIV transmission between gay men? Very similar info here, except that we can add vaginal fluid as a second LOW RISK body fluid. To recap then, blood and semen are very high-risk, vaginal fluid and pre-ejaculate are low-risk and all other body fluids are termed "no risk" for HIV transmission. (I'm excluding breast milk as we're talking about adult-to-adult transmission, not about mother-to-child transmission.)

When having sex with another woman your main concern is about avoiding her blood entering your bloodstream. This is usually only problematic if she's spotting (small quantities of blood after menstruation). Two tips:

1) If you want to know that the skin on your hand or fingers is intact before you play, apply a few drops of lemon juice concentrate to your hands - if it burns anywhere you'll know that your skin is not intact, which could pose a risk of the virus finding an easy entry point into your bloodstream.
2) For oral sex take a sheet of kitchen cling wrap (used to cover food - NOT the microwave version) and cover her genitals before you tuck in. A few drops of lube under the cling wrap could increase the sensation.

I suggest you call Triangle Project on 021 448 3812 and ask us to send you a very informative brochure on safer sex for women having sex with women. The brochure also addresses various STIs.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2007/05/02

See the Expert's response to post 483!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Tamara | 2007/04/30

LOL at Sabe.. frequent Znight you may bump on us.

have you insisted on protection Sabe? How? Have you met people yet? what do you play on? what do you do?

Reply to Tamara
Posted by: SabeBoat | 2007/04/30

go to the Health 24 top menu and click on sex. After than click on the left menu STIs and safer sex.

We are also on znight, what is your profile name.

Reply to SabeBoat
Posted by: SameBoat | 2007/04/30

Tamara we were having that talk at home as well cause I have also been looking at fullfilling my bi-curiousity. I am really concerned about HIV and looking at how reckless the swinging community is I was just not willing to take that chance. I really wanted to meet someone who would be willing to go for the test even protection will be used.

Lesbians use a barrier like plastic wrap (Jiffy) or a dental dam when getting sucked so maybe that is an option but the testing part should happen.

Reply to SameBoat

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