Posted by: cally | 2009/02/03

posting 447 - foreskin hurts during sex

Hi guys,
thanks for all the advice. After all, it' s his willy, so if he wants to keep it the way it is then I' ll support him all the way. I must say that sex with him is very good (maybe because of the foreskin? I don' t know, is it possible?), so maybe my ravenous appetite for him is to blame for hurting him. I' m never rough, but perhaps I want him too often. I' ll try be better behaved. Maybe the other techniques for minimising the pain are worth a try. We' ll give them a shot. Thanks!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Hello Cally,

I definitely agree that your boyfriend's penis is his own and if he wishes to keep it the way it is he has the full right to do so. For certain men circumcision is not necessarily the only option, depending on how tight the foreskin is over the head of the penis. Some men are able by means of stretching exercises of the foreskin able to loosen the foreskin so that they do not experience as much or no pain post sexual intercourse. This will depend on the degree of tightness of the foreskin though.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: NOCIRC-SA | 2009/02/05

Hi Kari and Anon,

Thank you for your posts re our messages to this topic. We always welcome comments and are open to suggestions.

I would like to defend our position by indicating that our posts are of a non commercial nature. Our advice and information is given freely and without reciprocal expectations. We adhere to the forum conditions in that we do not post aggressive or abusive messages, do no libel or defame any person or institution.

It is our belief that the prepuce is an integral part of the male anatomy and has a mechanical and sensory role to play in the sexual, physical, emotional and psychological health of the male. Furthermore, the foreskin is not the harbinger of death, disease. We further believe that there are less radical, more effective conservative treatment options available to treat conditions such as phimosis.

It is the right of every man, and the ethical obligation of the medical profession, to provide the patient with all relevant treatment options available. Each treatment option has inherent pro’ s and con’ s. The patient has a right to investigate each option available and make an informed and participative decision his treatment protocol.

There are a number of medical treatments for phimosis including stretching, dorsal slit, prepuplasty and circumcision.

Cally has already indicated that her BF will not consider circumcision as a treatment. He has a large number of alternatives available to him.

To clarify some of the points raised re stretching. Firstly, this is a gentle procedure. If tearing is caused, too much tension is being applied. It does take time to stretch skin, typically 4 –  6 months is needed for effective release. Yes, steroid creams do have adverse effects –  they need to be used in moderation and in consultation with an MD.

The only effective prevention against STD’ s is condomisation. The presence or absence of a foreskin is irrelevant.

We are not entirely opposed to circumcision. There are medical conditions that arise that can only be cured by this such as gangrene or irreparable physical damage. Circumcision for phimosis should only be considered once all other options have been tried.

Lastly, we liken circumcision to treating an ingrown toenail by amputating the toe. This is radical surgery to correct a minor problem.

Reply to NOCIRC-SA
Posted by: Anon | 2009/02/05

Cally, be very, very careful at the advice given here by these so called penis experts NOCIRC SA. I quote: " Stretching techniques along with topical applications of a corticalsteroid cream over a period of time will '  relax'  the foreskin and make it more easily retractable. This workds for about 60% of people that try and is the least invasive."  What these morons are stating is that steroid cream needs to be used over time. Note they dont state how long!!!! Weeks?? Months?? Years?? They also dont tell you that this steroid cream thins out the skin and PERMANENTLY damages it. That is a known fact. They also dont tell you that the thin tears in the foreskin are OPEN wounds that result in a much higher likelihood of STDs or even HIV.

Again they are afraid to have anyone " go over to the otherside"  and actually have a great sex life from the issues and problems that they want you to live with and " be happy"  with your foreskin regardless of the real problem. Sorry, they are just way too radical for most normal people to listen too. There are some problems with a foreskin that ONLY circumcision can completely eliminate. Ironically, most men circumcised because of this problem your BF is having report great sex lives afterwards. I for one have been through it and I did at first listen to guys like NOCIRC-SA only to have bigger problems. Think carefully about listening to these radicals....

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Kari | 2009/02/05

Sexoligist, don' t you have a no commercial advertising policy on this board. If so, the intactivist group called NOCIRC-SA should fall under that policy as well. They do NOT promote choice, they promote keeping a foreskin at any cost, including pain and unbearable sex for both partners, when it has been proven there are some instances where circumcision is the only option. They are worse than the pro-circumcision folks that post here. If you allow these radicals to post and advertise their website, then you need to open it up for others to do the same. Rules apply to all and should be monitored for all or abandon them completely. One last comment to the intactivists posting here, they have know idea how great sex is without a foreskin especially when you have had a partner that has had that problem and decided that circumcision was the right choice and not to listen to the intactivists. Radicals do nothing but create controversy to satisfy their own shortcomings.

Reply to Kari
Posted by: NOCIRC-SA | 2009/02/03

IF you need any assistance or advice contact us at info at and we will gladly assist.

PS: Sex with him and his FS is better as this is how nature designed things to work for both of you.

Reply to NOCIRC-SA

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